Recently some people can work from home using modern technology. Some think this only benefits the workers, but not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Working habits are significantly changed by remarkable innovation in technology. Some people throughout the world are contemporary using such innovation to finish their job without spending an average of full working week on their office. While it gives a clear advantage to the employees and their managers, I tend to be convinced that such a case gives a definite disadvantage to the employers.
An overwhelming majority of staffs in several companies nowadays are using internet connection to send their work reports. As straightforward example, 89 % of employees in Multinational Companies send the sales report by electronic mail to their employers. It is as the managers should recapitulate the report quickly to get greater profit. Consequently, the staffs do not need to spend their time to go to the workplace when they know the sales report at home. Furthermore, the employers can earn huge surplus by receiving the sales review. Thanks to the modern technology can reduce sedentary activity at office and improve company's profit, it give an advantages to human life.
Apparently, modern technology can disturb employers to make their business success in particular condition.
The evidence of this case can be seen that a half of Japanese companies inflict a financial loss throughout this year. it happens as all networking systems in the companies hacked by their rivals when their employees send work report to the managers. As a result, their secret data spread among their competitors. Finally the companies cannot get a profit or even some of them are loss. It is clear that employers get a drawback from the modern technology.
The aforementioned evidence shows that advanced in technology can give the merits to employers and their staff by using internet connection. However, it can be danger to companies and their managers when they do not careful with the possibility of hacking activity. Therefore, either employers or employees should be aware to use this technology as it can profit their companies as well as can be danger.
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Sentence: Some people throughout the world are contemporary using such innovation to finish their job without spending an average of full working week on their office.
Description: The fragment are contemporary using is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace contemporary with adverb
It is as the managers should recapitulate the report quickly to get greater profit.
It is the managers who should recapitulate the report quickly to get greater profit.
Thanks to the modern technology can reduce sedentary activity at office
Thanks to the modern technology it can reduce the sedentary activity at office
it give an advantages to human life.
it gives an advantages to human life.
or even some of them are loss
or even some of them are losing
Definitions of loss
noun
the fact or process of losing something or someone.
"avoiding loss of time"
synonyms: mislaying, misplacement, forgetting; deprivation, disappearance, privation, forfeiture, diminution, erosion, reduction, depletion
it can be danger to companies
it can be dangerous to companies
it can be a danger to companies
when they do not careful with the possibility
when they are not careful with the possibility
can be danger.
can be dangerous.
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 9 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 330 350
No. of Characters: 1689 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.262 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.118 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.912 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 129 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 75 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 57 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 19.412 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.986 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.471 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.513 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.081 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5