Shopping has become a favourite pastime among young people. Why do you think

Hi

I have written this essay with timelines of actual IELTS test. I have written the letter as well as essay in one hour.

I request you to review the essay & provide precious suggestions, score & review comments according to IELTS requirements.

As I typed the essay in MS Word so I know there are lot of spelling mistakes & grammatical errors in the essay. Regarding that I have certain specific queries:
(1) How much weight-age is ther eofr speeling errors.
(2) if a spelling is repeated & is wrong again, will it be considered as 2 errors or one error?
thanks in advance

Sentence: Current markets are occupied by lots of branded and cheap goods all over the world.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: It is a matter of considerable & mandatory attention that, young generation gets fascinated towards these cheap brands.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: A small pocket money or salary from part time job, has made shopping a favourite pastime for present youths.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: I firmly believe, that this shopoholic attitude of young generation will lead the society towards dangerous and unmanageble consequences.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: To begin with competition has forced the manufacturers to make the cost of their products lower, day by day.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: On the one side, it is boon to normal buyers, while as a side effect, indirectly it has increased the purchasing power of young generation.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: A small pocket money, which was enough to buy study material only, now allowing to buy smart phones, fashionable clothes or motorcycle.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: Young generation has been made shopoholic by this price down.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: Secondly, small optional items has turned into big necessaties, due to continuous shopping habbits.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: Youngsters, either teenagers or fresh graduates, begin to demand for new gadgets, cars or other luxary items.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: Furthermore, if pocket money do not allow to buy the required goods, they fill the gap by doing part time jobs, illegal activities or sometime by stealing valuables at home.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: This shopping habbit use to destroy their carrier, as they loose focus from studies.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by an adjective
Suggestion: Refer to they and loose

Sentence: Young generation of any nation is harmed by these shopping exposures.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: I, therefore, strongly recommend that youngsters should be encouraged to do some other activities, rather spending their time and money in this pastime and useless activity.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: Last but not least, easy monthly installment scheme and student credit cards has made the situation more worst.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: Banking sector, to boost their profits, has targeted to add new customers.
No grammatical errors
Sentence: These instituitions introduced new schemes, which motivate young generation to do more shopping.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: Being the believer, that young generation is responsible for future growth and development of country, I would like to suggest some important measures to prevent this shopoholic attitude of young generation.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: Firstly, government should make strict rules and guidelines for banking sector, to issue a credit card to youngsters.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: Secondly, workshops should be conducted by government, schools, and non profit organizations, to guide and encourage young generation to use their spare time effectiviely.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: Many sports prograsmmes and free trainings cab be an effective tool.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to trainings and cab, cab should be "can"

Sentence: They should guide their children for useful pastime activities.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: To summarize it all, young generation is an asset to any nation.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: We should pay special attention to guide and govern their present activities, to lead them towards future civilized member of society.
No grammatical errors

Sentence: Current markets are occupied by lots of branded and cheap goods all over the world.
No spelling errors

Sentence: It is a matter of considerable & mandatory attention that, young generation gets fascinated towards these cheap brands.
No spelling errors

Sentence: A small pocket money or salary from part time job, has made shopping a favourite pastime for present youths.
Error: favourite Suggestion: favorite
Sentence: I firmly believe, that this shopoholic attitude of young generation will lead the society towards dangerous and unmanageble consequences.
Error: unmanageble Suggestion: unmanageable

Error: shopoholic Suggestion: spool
Sentence: To begin with competition has forced the manufacturers to make the cost of their products lower, day by day.
No spelling errors

Sentence: On the one side, it is boon to normal buyers, while as a side effect, indirectly it has increased the purchasing power of young generation.
No spelling errors

Sentence: A small pocket money, which was enough to buy study material only, now allowing to buy smart phones, fashionable clothes or motorcycle.
No spelling errors

Sentence: Young generation has been made shopoholic by this price down.
Error: shopoholic Suggestion: spool
Sentence: Secondly, small optional items has turned into big necessaties, due to continuous shopping habbits.
Error: necessaties Suggestion: necessaries
Error: habbits Suggestion: habits

Sentence: Youngsters, either teenagers or fresh graduates, begin to demand for new gadgets, cars or other luxary items.
Error: luxary Suggestion: luxury
Sentence: Furthermore, if pocket money do not allow to buy the required goods, they fill the gap by doing part time jobs, illegal activities or sometime by stealing valuables at home.
No spelling errors

Sentence: This shopping habbit use to destroy their carrier, as they loose focus from studies.
Error: habbit Suggestion: habit
Sentence: Young generation of any nation is harmed by these shopping exposures.
No spelling errors

Sentence: I, therefore, strongly recommend that youngsters should be encouraged to do some other activities, rather spending their time and money in this pastime and useless activity.
No spelling errors

Sentence: Last but not least, easy monthly installment scheme and student credit cards has made the situation more worst.
No spelling errors
Sentence: Banking sector, to boost their profits, has targeted to add new customers.
No spelling errors

Sentence: These instituitions introduced new schemes, which motivate young generation to do more shopping.
Error: instituitions Suggestion: institutions
Sentence: Being the believer, that young generation is responsible for future growth and development of country, I would like to suggest some important measures to prevent this shopoholic attitude of young generation.
Error: shopoholic Suggestion: ?

Sentence: Firstly, government should make strict rules and guidelines for banking sector, to issue a credit card to youngsters.
No spelling errors

Sentence: Secondly, workshops should be conducted by government, schools, and non profit organizations, to guide and encourage young generation to use their spare time effectiviely.
Error: effectiviely Suggestion: effectively
Sentence: Many sports prograsmmes and free trainings cab be an effective tool.
Error: prograsmmes Suggestion: programmed

Sentence: Parents should also pay extra attention to monitor their kids expenses and activities.
No spelling errors

Sentence: They should guide their children for useful pastime activities.
No spelling errors

Sentence: To summarize it all, young generation is an asset to any nation.
No spelling errors

Sentence: We should pay special attention to guide and govern their present activities, to lead them towards future civilized member of society.
No spelling errors

No. of Spelling Errors: 10
No. of Words: 440
No. of Different Words: 252
Average Word Length: 5.25
Word Length SD: 2.73
No. of Characters: 2310

Average Sentence Length: 17.6
Sentence Length SD: 5.98
Use of Passive Voice: 0
Use of Discourse Markers: 0.36
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.271
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.041

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 7.5 out of 9
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 440 350
No. of Characters: 2310 1500
No. of Different Words: 252 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.58 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.25 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.73 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 174 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 131 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 69 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.98 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.36 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.271 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.501 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.041 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5

Hi

Thanks a lot for your immediate action.
It is very motivating to get your review comments.