It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is obvious that certain talents in certain subjects like sport or music and art help people to reach success twice as fast as the other people who do not have any talents in these subjects but there are always exceptions which depend on circumstances. In some cases if the individuals who has certain talents can not discover his/her talents or their family put them under tremendous pressure to forget their talents little by little they miss their innate talents which lead to they could not be able to become a good person according to his/her talent.
It is clear that these days any children can be taught to become a good sports or musician even if they have not any nature talent in these fields. They can learned several techniques and skills by people who are well-known in their fields and they will be able to get success through their patience and hardworking. There are several evidences to show that with hardworking and patience people can become a good sport person or musician since have innate talent is one factor to get success and another main factor is hardworking.
On the other hand, this fact can not be overlooked that the individuals who have nature talents in certain fields can reach to success twice as fast as the other persons who do not have talents if they try to develop their talents and reinforce them. It is noticeable that if children who have talent in certain fields are taught how to use their talent as regards their fields little by little they can improve their talents in the straight way which would not be the case if they did pay most attention to their nature talents.
In conclusion, I believe that any children can be taught to become a good sports person or musician by hardworking but certain talents are prerequisite to getting successful and the children who have nature talents can become a good person in the certain fields such as sports or art in the short times.
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Sentence: In some cases if the individuals who has certain talents can not discover his/her talents or their family put them under tremendous pressure to forget their talents little by little they miss their innate talents which lead to they could not be able to become a good person according to his/her talent.
Description: The token to is not usually followed by a pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to to and they
Sentence: They can learned several techniques and skills by people who are well-known in their fields and they will be able to get success through their patience and hardworking.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to can and learned
Sentence: There are several evidences to show that with hardworking and patience people can become a good sport person or musician since have innate talent is one factor to get success and another main factor is hardworking.
Description: The word since is not usually used as an adverb
Suggestion: Refer to since
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Different Words: 132 200 (need more different words)
Avg. Sentence Length: 42.75 21.0 (sentences too long. hard to read)
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 8 15
No. of Words: 342 350
No. of Characters: 1572 1500
No. of Different Words: 132 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.3 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.596 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.332 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 117 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 70 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 34 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 20 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 42.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.795 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.531 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.761 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.22 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5