Some adults wants independence from their parents as soon as possible.Other young adults prefer to live with their families for long time.Which of these situation do u think are better? Use specific reasons and example to support your opinion.
I agree that some young adults want independence from their parents nowadays while some young prefer to live with their families for a long times. Their are some advantages and disadvantages of staying with the parents for long time. But I would prefer to stay with my parents for a longer time. There are many reasons such as we get a support, moral values, learn from their experience for which I feel that Its more beneficial to stay with our parents for a long time.
Firstly, I would like to talk about the emotional and economical support we get from our family. For example, when I was not getting a good job when i graduated from my college I was feeling very sad but at that moment my parents used to encourage me and help me economically and after few months i got a good job. I was so happy and my parents too. Parents not only support us but also encourage us in our bad times. It would not have been possible if i was staying independently and away from my parents. Also, one of my friend was staying alone, but i learned from him how he got carried away with bad habits.
Secondly, we learn moral values and respect from our parents. We if stay with our parents we do not get carried out by bad habits and bad company. From my experience, when I was trying for addmission for my masters, i was not able to choose from my choices as i had a choice to choose from universities that provide facilities for extra curricular activities and other was the university which only concentrated on studies. But when i discuss the problem with my father he suggested to choose the university which also supports and encourage extra curricular activities. And by obeying my parents decision after i graduated it help me realized that i took a right decision by consulting my father. Today i am very happy and i got a good job.
Thirdly, we keep on learning from our parents experience as they help us to take a right decision and we are not influenced by bad habits such as drugs. I can see one of my friend who took a decision of not staying with his parents but by doing that his career is also spoil as he got influenced by bad habits and bad company. Now he is in very bad stage of life.
In conclusion, even our parents need us in their old age. IF i prefer to stay with my parents for a long time i can also help them when they are ill. For example, when my mother was ill. I used to give her medicine and stay with her all the time which not have been possible if i was not staying with my family.In my view it is responsibility of every young person to take care of their parents in their old age as they supported and taught moral values.
There are some disadvantages too with staying with family as they sometimes interfere in our personal life. But I think that is very small issues and that can be resolves by proper discussion. So, I think young adults should prefer to stay with their parents to get a support, moral values and to learn from their experiences.
- It is more important to keep your old friends than it is to make new friends. 53
- Some adults wants independence from their parents as soon as possible.Other young adults prefer to live with their families for long time.Which of these situation do u think are better? Use specific reasons and example to support your opinion. 70
- Some adults wants independence from their parents as soon as possible.Other young adults prefer to live with their families for long time.Which of these situation do u think are better? Use specific reasons and example to support your opinion. 70
Sentence: I agree that some young adults want independence from their parents nowadays while some young prefer to live with their families for a long times.
Description: An adjective is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to young and prefer
Sentence: We if stay with our parents we do not get carried out by bad habits and bad company.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a conjunction, subordinating
Suggestion: Refer to We and if
Sentence: And by obeying my parents decision after i graduated it help me realized that i took a right decision by consulting my father.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to parents and decision
Description: The fragment me realized that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace realized with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Sentence: From my experience, when I was trying for addmission for my masters, i was not able to choose from my choices as i had a choice to choose from universities that provide facilities for extra curricular activities and other was the university which only concentrated on studies.
Error: addmission Suggestion: admission
flaws:
No. of Words: 559 350 (less words in real exams. write the essay in half an hour)
Don't give a reason then immediately follow an example. You need to argue why this reason.
Don't put a new paragraph after you give a conclusion.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 559 350
No. of Characters: 2373 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.862 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.245 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.421 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 101 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 53 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.292 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.873 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.38 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.565 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.247 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5