What recent news story has affected you the most? In what ways has it affected you? Use reasons and examples to support your responses.

Essay topics:

What recent news story has affected you the most? In what ways has it affected you? Use reasons and examples to support your responses.

The recent famous news about Özgacan who has been killed after raped by bus driver in Turkey. She was alone when she was going to somewhere by bus. Bus driver tried to go anywhere where was desolated. After that he raped her and cut her organs. It was shameful case for Turkey.

Because firstly we have understood that outside isnt safe for women. Women should wear unobtrusive clothes to protect themselves from the danger. Its so disconcerting to learn that women cant have their freedoms. It verified that we are close society and our minds are bigoted. Its sad to learn that some people see women as goods which they can use.

Secondly we shouldnt let this people to live in this world. I strongly believe that court should punish them as they deserve. For instance capital punishment which can be disincentive should be allowed in Turkey to punish felonies. If ministry of justice shouldnt arrange this, our safety will be in danger.

Thirdly small busses which is personal should be controlled as big busses which belongs to municipality. They can put limit on work hours or put receiver in the vehicles to know where it is. Cobs should control the drivers in regular intervals to check if they do something illegal.

All in all its bad for us to announce this kind of news in Turkey. We should change our moral educational system to change the people’s point of view about body freedom. Ministery of justice should judge itself fort his system.

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2015-03-17 ocultonhn 60 view
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The recent famous news about Özgacan who has been killed after raped by bus driver in Turkey.
The recent famous news is about Özgacan who has been killed after being raped by a bus driver in Turkey.

where was desolated.
where it was desolated.

It was shameful case for Turkey.
It was a shameful case for Turkey.

small busses which is personal should be controlled as big busses which belongs to municipality.
small buses which are personal should be controlled as big buses belong to municipality.

Sentence: It verified that we are close society and our minds are bigoted.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a verb, past participle
Suggestion: Refer to It and verified

Sentence: Secondly we shouldnt let this people to live in this world.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to this and people

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Words: 253 350

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 6 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 253 350
No. of Characters: 1174 1500
No. of Different Words: 165 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.988 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.64 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.305 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 83 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 52 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 30 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 14 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 12.65 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 3.214 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.269 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.118 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5