Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.
Whether young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition could be weight in many aspects. However, the argument is based on generalization. The statement simply assumes that all realistic goals are suitable for young people, but in reality, most of the realistic goals are not. Moreover, it is presumptuous to suggest that realistic goals are benefited to young people. Factor other than realistic goals is also responsible for an ideal result.
Admittedly, the speaker’s claim might appear to have considerable merit. After all, realistic goals could be an obvious objective. Yet the speaker fails to provide a clear litmus test for measuring which realistic goals should be encouraged to pursue young people. When we speak of “ realistic goals.” the following comes to mind: most realistic goals are not defined by young people but by parents. For example, most parents overly believe what objective is realistic even though it is not suitable for their children. Thus, to determine the prerequisites of realistic goals, it is necessary to examine which realistic goals are suitable for young people.
It is justifiable to take realistic goals which parents believe into account, and we can find the statement problematic. In China and Taiwan education system, most parents overly define which discipline are worthy and then ask their children to apply, while in America, most parents don’t interfere in children’s decision. The number of Nobel prize winners illustrates this point clearly. The number of Nobel prize winner in China and Taiwan is only 3, but in America is 366.
Thus, the realistic goals which most China and Taiwanese parents believe are not suitable for young people completely.
Moreover, the speaker unfairly assumes that realistic goals are benefited for young people. However, I reckon young people should pursue personal interest other than realistic goals, even though they just want to seek immediate fame and recognition. For instance, children engage in what they want over and over again, because it is suitable for them and they want to seek sense of accomplishment in a group. But in the end, maybe these interests are helpful to society. Therefore, young people should not be encouraged to pursue realistic, long-term goals overly.
In summary, this claim is not as persuasive as it stands. Although realistic goals are obvious objectives, these are not suitable for young people. We should encourage young people to pursue personal interest other than realistic goals, even though they want to seek immediate fame and recognition.
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Comments
Essay evaluations by e-grader
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 10, column 301, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to seek immediate fame and recognition.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, thus, while, after all, for example, for instance, i reckon, in summary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.5258426966 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 33.0505617978 73% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 58.6224719101 70% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2243.0 2235.4752809 100% => OK
No of words: 418.0 442.535393258 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.36602870813 5.05705443957 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52162009685 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69621470356 2.79657885939 96% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 215.323595506 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.433014354067 0.4932671777 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 675.0 704.065955056 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.10617977528 225% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 23.0359550562 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.2414371499 60.3974514979 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.4583333333 118.986275619 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4166666667 23.4991977007 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.45833333333 5.21951772744 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.83258426966 207% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.488600431117 0.243740707755 200% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.156486471431 0.0831039109588 188% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.185183274308 0.0758088955206 244% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.296129484731 0.150359130593 197% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.174540623879 0.0667264976115 262% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.1392134831 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.8420337079 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.57 12.1639044944 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 100.480337079 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 11.8971910112 59% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.2143820225 78% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 10, column 301, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...to seek immediate fame and recognition.
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, however, if, may, moreover, so, then, therefore, thus, while, after all, for example, for instance, i reckon, in summary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.5258426966 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 9.0 12.4196629213 72% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 14.8657303371 101% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 11.3162921348 80% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 24.0 33.0505617978 73% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 58.6224719101 70% => OK
Nominalization: 10.0 12.9106741573 77% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2243.0 2235.4752809 100% => OK
No of words: 418.0 442.535393258 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.36602870813 5.05705443957 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.52162009685 4.55969084622 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.69621470356 2.79657885939 96% => OK
Unique words: 181.0 215.323595506 84% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.433014354067 0.4932671777 88% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 675.0 704.065955056 96% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59117977528 101% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 6.24550561798 112% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 3.10617977528 225% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.77640449438 281% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.38483146067 91% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 24.0 20.2370786517 119% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 23.0359550562 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 40.2414371499 60.3974514979 67% => OK
Chars per sentence: 93.4583333333 118.986275619 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4166666667 23.4991977007 74% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.45833333333 5.21951772744 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 4.97078651685 121% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 7.80617977528 13% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 10.2758426966 107% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 5.13820224719 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.83258426966 207% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.488600431117 0.243740707755 200% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.156486471431 0.0831039109588 188% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.185183274308 0.0758088955206 244% => The coherence between sentences is low.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.296129484731 0.150359130593 197% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.174540623879 0.0667264976115 262% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.6 14.1392134831 89% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.8420337079 111% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.1743820225 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.57 12.1639044944 112% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.8 8.38706741573 93% => OK
difficult_words: 88.0 100.480337079 88% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.0 11.8971910112 59% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.2143820225 78% => OK
text_standard: 10.0 11.7820224719 85% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.