The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home for work, study or shopping.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that officiers are, nowadays, facing to a pressing issue. That is how to solve increasingly serious problem of traffic congestion. Many people devote to the way of reducing the need for individual travelling for work, study or shopping purpose. I would argue that this issue is not probably released unless by jointing to more another solutions.
People must recognize that traffic problems in cities are caused by variety of ... from unaware ones to aware ones. In some cities the short and selfish vision of officiers in designing and bulding traffic infrastructures leads to irrational and poor quality of traffic system. In addition, overcrowding to cities from rural areas that is in order to work and study contributes to more serious traffic congestion. Besides, incities especially big cities which have vibrant life with alot of entertainment services, people travel a lot to join into their work, study or social activities.
Perhaps, the most effective line of the part of those whose advocade to reducing the need of personal travelling in order to reduce the amount of traffic in cities is to point out that distance working, studying and shopping possibilities may be applied prevalently. Today, people can stay at their home to do work, study or comsume through the internet and other modern technological devices. As a result, people do not have to go out that makes the atmotphere on the roads become more comfortable especially in rush hours.
It is certainly true that home working can reduce this problem but it is unrealistic to think that people would all want to do. In some particular jobs, they require staff to work in team. Thus, they need to discuss together at their office to ensure that their works would be done well. It may be the case that de development of technology encourages people work more effectively, but it is also too difficult to old generation to learn how to use these modern contact types on work.
In conclusion, although reducing the demanding of individual travelling has home limited aspects. This way also is a good way to be considered in order to joint with other ones to solve effectively in reducing the need of personal travelling in cities today.
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2012-10-31 | oyamazakura ngoc | 68 | view |
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Comments
I am very thankful for your
I am very thankful for your comment with valuable suggestions.
I will try to improve my writing!
You are
You are welcome!
'Sentence-Sentence Coherence is low' means your ideas are 'jumping' not continuously.
Sentence: I would argue that this issue is not probably released unless by jointing to more another solutions.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to another and solutions
Sentence: In addition, overcrowding to cities from rural areas that is in order to work and study contributes to more serious traffic congestion.
Description: The fragment rural areas that is not usually followed by is
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace is with are
Sentence: There is no doubt that officiers are, nowadays, facing to a pressing issue.
Error: officiers Suggestion: officers
Sentence: In some cities the short and selfish vision of officiers in designing and bulding traffic infrastructures leads to irrational and poor quality of traffic system.
Error: officiers Suggestion: officers
Error: bulding Suggestion: building
Sentence: Perhaps, the most effective line of the part of those whose advocade to reducing the need of personal travelling in order to reduce the amount of traffic in cities is to point out that distance working, studying and shopping possibilities may be applied prevalently.
Error: advocade Suggestion: advocate
Sentence: Today, people can stay at their home to do work, study or comsume through the internet and other modern technological devices.
Error: comsume Suggestion: consume
Sentence: As a result, people do not have to go out that makes the atmotphere on the roads become more comfortable especially in rush hours.
Error: atmotphere Suggestion: atmosphere
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.036 0.07
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 6 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 373 350
No. of Characters: 1811 1500
No. of Different Words: 196 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.395 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.855 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.699 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 125 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 95 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 64 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.482 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.588 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.558 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.036 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5