This is my essay, please help me correct it and evaluate in Ielts bandscore. Thanks for your time!
Q: Ownership of mobile phones has risen dramatically in recent years despite the potential harmful effects they may have on our health and on society. Governments should introduce measures to restrict ownership of mobile phones to those who need them for their work.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
A:
Mobile phones have become a regular part of nearly everyone's everyday life in many nations, from professional such as physicians and attorneys to young children. Some people, on the other hand, would prefer to see ownership restricted due to the health dangers mobile phones may bring and the detrimental influence they are currently having on society. Should such limitations be enforced, however?
There are several compelling reasons in favour of limiting ownership. To begin with, radio wave emission from mobile phones has been shown to impact brain activity, and some experts are concerned about the implications this may have on the health of youngsters who use such phones. It is argued that if limits were imposed, fewer individuals would be exposed to these hazards. Furthermore, such restrictions are widely accepted to minimize the frequency of road accidents caused by persons discussing on their phones. There is also the issue of societal effect to consider. It is increasingly typical for an impolite mobile phone user to disturb a concert, a theatrical play or even a relaxing lunch at a restaurant.
However, there are substantial arguments against such actions. To begin, it is commonly assumed that mobile phones are vital in the event of an accident or other tough scenario, and that everyone should have the right to the protection they provide. Second, it is suggested that if phone companies took steps to promote public knowledge of the hazards presented by radio wave emissions, individuals would only conduct brief phone conversations, reducing these risks. Finally, it is frequently stated that there will always be a minority of irresponsible people, and therefore ownership limits will unfairly penalise the majority of thoughtful users.
To summarise, I feel that modest ownership limits to safeguard the health of young people would be a good thing. Adults, on the other hand, should be allowed to use mobile phones for both personal and professional purposes.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2021-06-26 | uchiha9000 | 89 | view |
- Nowadays in many families both parents need to have jobs What are some of the problems associated with both parents working and what are some of the possible solutions 68
- Nowadays young people have the tendency to stay at home rather than going out for outdoor activities Discuss the causes and solutions to this phenomenon 56
- Many wild animals have become endangered Why has this happened What can governments do to stop this from continuing to happen 56
- Nowadays young people have the tendency to stay at home rather than going out for outdoor activities Discuss the causes and solutions to this phenomenon Write an essay to express your views and include relevant reasons and examples from your own knowledge 56
- The table and bar chart show how journey times in a city center changed after improvements were made to the transport network an the costs of using different forms of transport in the city Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feat 73
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, furthermore, however, if, may, second, so, therefore, i feel, such as, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 13.1623246493 144% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 11.0 7.85571142285 140% => OK
Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK
Relative clauses : 7.0 7.30460921844 96% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 24.0651302605 75% => OK
Preposition: 41.0 41.998997996 98% => OK
Nominalization: 2.0 8.3376753507 24% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1691.0 1615.20841683 105% => OK
No of words: 318.0 315.596192385 101% => OK
Chars per words: 5.31761006289 5.12529762239 104% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.22286093782 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.81409294468 2.80592935109 100% => OK
Unique words: 189.0 176.041082164 107% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.594339622642 0.561755894193 106% => OK
syllable_count: 535.5 506.74238477 106% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 6.0 5.43587174349 110% => OK
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.10420841683 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 3.0 0.809619238477 371% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 6.0 4.76152304609 126% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 16.0721442886 93% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 56.5832326951 49.4020404114 115% => OK
Chars per sentence: 112.733333333 106.682146367 106% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.2 20.7667163134 102% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.86666666667 7.06120827912 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 8.67935871743 58% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 3.9879759519 150% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.162934408588 0.244688304435 67% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0508222699583 0.084324248473 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0441577541716 0.0667982634062 66% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.105992035776 0.151304729494 70% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0230694707301 0.056905535591 41% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.2 13.0946893788 108% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 50.2224549098 83% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.3001002004 112% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.58 12.4159519038 109% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.89 8.58950901804 115% => OK
difficult_words: 105.0 78.4519038076 134% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 9.78957915832 117% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 89.8876404494 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 8.0 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.