The following appeared in a recommendation from the President of the Amburg Chamber of Commerce.
"Last October, the city of Belleville installed high-intensity lighting in its central business district, and vandalism there declined almost immediately. The city of Amburg, on the other hand, recently instituted police patrols on bicycles in its business district. However, the rate of vandalism here remains constant. Since high-intensity lighting is clearly the most effective way to combat crime, we recommend using the money that is currently being spent on bicycle patrols to install such lighting throughout Amburg. If we install this high-intensity lighting, we will significantly reduce crime rates in Amburg."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
The recommendation provided by the President of Amburg Chamber of Commerce maintains that the money spent on purchase of bicycle patrols must be instead invested in high-intensity lighting as this practice has helped reduce vandalism more effectively in Belleville as compared to that in Amburg. However, the president in concluding so, has made the following assumptions.
To begin with, the president assumes that the decline in vandalism in Belleville is solely attributed to the installation of high intensity lights. He or she fails to consider any other scenario that could lead to the immediate decline. What if a stricter law was passed in the month of October last year which imposed 10 years imprisonment along with a fine of 1million dollars for acts of vandalism? If the answer to this question is yes, then the installation of the high intensity lights fail to serve their purpose in addition to debunking the president's claim that high intensty lighting is "clearly the most effective way to combat crime" as incorrect.
The second assumption made by the president is on the efficiency of the police patrol teams. Are we confident of the police patrol teams doing their duty diligently? Probably, a new team of freshman has been instituted to the police patrol duty and these new comers are taking advantage of the their bicycle duty in order to travel around town rather than to catch hold of the necessary miscreants. If the above scenario were to be true, the argument stated by the president would fail to hold water.
Last but not the least, the president goes on to assume that the lighting installations that were implemented to curb vandalism in Belleville would have the same impact if it were to be incorporated in Amburg as well. As mentioned in the recommendation, the lighting was installed in the central business district of Belleville. How can one be convinced that the same strategy would work else where?! Probably, the lightings were installed in this district owing to the narrow pathways and dingy street lamps which were clearly ineffective in curbing robbery. Considering that the city of Amburg is well structured with wide pathways and 24 hours of electricity, the need to install further high intensity lighting would be futile in curbing the issue at discussion here.
Hence, in conclusion, the president must carefully consider all possible aspects as discussed above in order to make a well informed decision that would be beneficial to the shopkeepers of Amburg.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 413 350
No. of Characters: 2060 1500
No. of Different Words: 217 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.508 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.988 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.814 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 147 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 116 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.812 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.436 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.329 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.586 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.124 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 656, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...most effective way to combat crime' as incorrect. The second assumption m...
^^
Line 5, column 291, Rule ID: DT_PRP[1]
Message: Possible typo. Did you mean 'the' or 'their'?
Suggestion: the; their
...hese new comers are taking advantage of the their bicycle duty in order to travel around ...
^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, hence, however, if, second, so, then, well, in addition, in conclusion, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 21.0 19.6327345309 107% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 13.0 13.6137724551 95% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 69.0 55.5748502994 124% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2116.0 2260.96107784 94% => OK
No of words: 413.0 441.139720559 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.12348668281 5.12650576532 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.50803742585 4.56307096286 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.90863034853 2.78398813304 104% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.532687651332 0.468620217663 114% => OK
syllable_count: 659.7 705.55239521 94% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 1.0 4.96107784431 20% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 27.0 22.8473053892 118% => OK
Sentence length SD: 71.7586696272 57.8364921388 124% => OK
Chars per sentence: 141.066666667 119.503703932 118% => OK
Words per sentence: 27.5333333333 23.324526521 118% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.0 5.70786347227 105% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 2.0 5.25449101796 38% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 9.0 8.20758483034 110% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.31913685471 0.218282227539 146% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0980314400035 0.0743258471296 132% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0805905364881 0.0701772020484 115% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.152716123437 0.128457276422 119% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0986386575867 0.0628817314937 157% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.5 14.3799401198 115% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 44.07 48.3550499002 91% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.71 12.5979740519 101% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.84 8.32208582834 106% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 12.3882235529 93% => OK
gunning_fog: 12.8 11.1389221557 115% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.