A recent study rating 300 male and female Mentian advertising executives according to the average number of hours they sleep per night showed an association between the amount of sleep the executives need and the success of their firms. Of the advertising firms studied, those whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. These results suggest that if a business wants to prosper, it should hire only people who need less than 6 hours of sleep per night.
The prompt provided concludes that for a business to prosper, it should hire only people who needs less thatn 6 hours of sleep per night. The evidence that the author provides to support the argument is the survey conducted which consisted of 300 men and women executives. The survey recorded the average number of hours the firms executives slept per night. The result were that the firms whose executives reported needing no more than 6 hours of sleep per night had higher profit margins and faster growth. This, thus, forms the basis of conclusion of the author. Even though, author has provided some evidence, the conclusion still contains many flaws and ignored other factors that may play a vital role in the success of a firm.
To begin with, the firms with greater profits might have higher number of execuives and advisors in general that provide a keen judgement in decisions. For example, the units of work per person in firms having small number of executives is much greater than those who have higher number of individuals. As a result, this may result into increased pressure on an individual. Furthermore, it is possible that the more the number of exectives, the more flaws are detected in any decisions the firms make. Thus, it weakens the argument of the author.
Furthermore, the firms with greater profit margins might already be established wheareas the ones that have lower profit margins are still inchoate and thus, they have a less profit margin to boost their sales. They might have to reduce their selling price and focus more on the outreach of thier prouct. This, may reduce the profit margins. In fact, it is also the case that they may be selling their product at the same selling price of as that of the established company. However, because they have competitition with that of established firms and thus, invest more in marketing and advertising their products; Thus, in turn lowering the profit margins.
Nonetheless, the author has stated that firms that have executives requiring no more than 6 hours of sleep prosper and have higher profit margings. However, the author has ingnored the fact that it is possible that the executives who require less than 6 hours of sleep might be working harder than those who require more than 6 hours of sleep. The executives who require more than 6 hours of sleep are relaxed and slower than those who don't. As a result, the decision process and other vital ideas may be implemented slowly in the firm with executives required more than 6 hours of sleep. Moreover, the author ignores the calibre of the executives. The firms having higher profit margins might have executives for higher calibre and are able to make fine decisions, identifying flaws, proposing ideas, experience they might have (if the executive has experience far more than executives of other firms, then they are likely to have greater profit margins and prosper) etc. Consequently, the firms should focus more on hiring executives that have higher academic accomplishments and intelligence (not focusing much on sleep patterns of the job seekers).
All the points stated above undermine the conlusion stated in the prompt. Thus, there are numerous other factors that might play important role in deciding firms profit margin.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 12 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 16 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 548 350
No. of Characters: 2664 1500
No. of Different Words: 213 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.838 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.861 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.41 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 185 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 124 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 79 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 48 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.826 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 14.82 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.739 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.333 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.538 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.11 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 274, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...sisted of 300 men and women executives. The survey recorded the average number of h...
^^^
Line 1, column 360, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...s the firms executives slept per night. The result were that the firms whose execut...
^^^
Line 7, column 437, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...p are relaxed and slower than those who dont. As a result, the decision process and ...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, furthermore, however, if, may, moreover, nonetheless, so, still, then, thus, for example, in fact, in general, as a result, to begin with
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 16.0 19.6327345309 81% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 14.0 12.9520958084 108% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 35.0 28.8173652695 121% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 55.0 55.5748502994 99% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2733.0 2260.96107784 121% => OK
No of words: 547.0 441.139720559 124% => OK
Chars per words: 4.99634369287 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.83611736076 4.56307096286 106% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.4899827383 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 224.0 204.123752495 110% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.409506398537 0.468620217663 87% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 839.7 705.55239521 119% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 16.0 8.76447105788 183% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 61.3091053596 57.8364921388 106% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.32 119.503703932 91% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.88 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.28 5.70786347227 110% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 5.25449101796 57% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 6.88822355289 58% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.67664670659 86% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.238950512015 0.218282227539 109% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0768958745194 0.0743258471296 103% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0707473802852 0.0701772020484 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.128891067129 0.128457276422 100% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0790433951609 0.0628817314937 126% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 58.62 48.3550499002 121% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.85 8.32208582834 94% => OK
difficult_words: 110.0 98.500998004 112% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 8.0 12.3882235529 65% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.9071856287 67% => The average readability is low. Need to imporve the language.
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.