TOEFL INT writing TP34 the extinction of the Steller's sea cows
The lecture apparently refutes the point illustrated in the reading material. According to the professor, people nowadays still could not determine whether is the cause of the extinction of Steller’s sea cows, and all the statements made in the reading lead to problems. On the contrary, the reading contends an opposite stand that there are theories that provide guesses of the main cause of the extinction of the sea cows.
The first point the professor uses to cast doubt on the reading is that there is no demand for the native Siberians to hunt a huge amount of the sea cow due to the enormous size of the creature which was able to support the population, which differs from the statement in the reading that the acceptable food source in the harsh environment for the Siberians show that sea cows were over hunted by the native people.
Another evidence the speaker adopts to contradict the passage is the disturbance of the ecosystems does not affect an individual species, yet there are no discoveries of the impact of other marine animals so that the claims of the disturbance are not convincing. However, the reading states that the decline of kelp, which is the main diet of the sea cows, shows that ecosystem disturbance might be the cause of the extinction.
In conclusion, the point made in the lecture contrasts with what is presented in the reading. As the professor claims, in fact, the population of the sea cows in the seventeen centuries were already quite small, which means that the main reason for the extinction occurs long before the arrival of the Europeans, whereas the reading material holds that it is noticeable that the European fur traders hunted the last sea cow, which shows that they are the cause of the extinction of the Steller’s sea cows.
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...use of the extinction of the sea cows. The first point the professor uses to ca...
^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...were over hunted by the native people. Another evidence the speaker adopts to c...
^^^
Line 6, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...might be the cause of the extinction. In conclusion, the point made in the lec...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
apparently, first, however, if, so, still, whereas, in conclusion, in fact, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 10.4613686534 143% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 2.0 5.04856512141 40% => OK
Conjunction : 2.0 7.30242825607 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 17.0 12.0772626932 141% => OK
Pronoun: 14.0 22.412803532 62% => OK
Preposition: 42.0 30.3222958057 139% => OK
Nominalization: 13.0 5.01324503311 259% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1486.0 1373.03311258 108% => OK
No of words: 306.0 270.72406181 113% => OK
Chars per words: 4.85620915033 5.08290768461 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.18244613648 4.04702891845 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.61578393627 2.5805825403 101% => OK
Unique words: 149.0 145.348785872 103% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.486928104575 0.540411800872 90% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 448.2 419.366225166 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.55342163355 97% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 0.0 3.25607064018 0% => OK
Article: 6.0 8.23620309051 73% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 1.25165562914 80% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.51434878587 132% => OK
Preposition: 4.0 2.5761589404 155% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 8.0 13.0662251656 61% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 38.0 21.2450331126 179% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 123.637575195 49.2860985944 251% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 185.75 110.228320801 169% => OK
Words per sentence: 38.25 21.698381199 176% => OK
Discourse Markers: 11.375 7.06452816374 161% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 3.0 4.19205298013 72% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 0.0 4.33554083885 0% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 4.27373068433 94% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.196309421312 0.272083759551 72% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.079616423673 0.0996497079465 80% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.080545437853 0.0662205650399 122% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.122495050961 0.162205337803 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.070687233045 0.0443174109184 160% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 20.6 13.3589403974 154% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.37 53.8541721854 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 16.9 11.0289183223 153% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.5 12.2367328918 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.08 8.42419426049 108% => OK
difficult_words: 69.0 63.6247240618 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.0 10.7273730684 121% => OK
gunning_fog: 17.2 10.498013245 164% => OK
text_standard: 17.0 11.2008830022 152% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 73.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 22.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.