If you could make one important change in a school that you attended, what change would you make? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer.
when we want to make changes, there is two important things to consider,think deeply and choose wisely, specially when we are going to change something in valued place, like schools. I believe that the most important change that I would change is students exchange programs. I will make it more advanced and I will include more student in. I think it is too important because of many reasons. This short passage will explain some great purposes in the following paragraphs.
First of all, in my opinion, students exchange programs will improve students' personalities. Leaving our house and parents to live a completely foreign place has a great impact on making ourselves independent. No one can deny how we relay on our family to do different things like driving us to school, taking care of us in sickness and sometimes even helping us on a study material. For example, I had a spoiled brother who traveled to study in other country. I was shocked when I saw him two years later. He was totally a different person, he appreciate time and like to take responsibilities.
On the other hand, these programs are great due to the fact that it could expand learning and students can get advantage from other's experience. In return that will help our school to improve and gain new teaching technology. In other words we will be opened to the external world. Likewise,how other well developed countries started to use computer and exchanging paper based exam by computer base exams. This technique helped to save time and improve accuracy regarding exams.
For all the purposes that have been discussed above, If I could do only one change, I will choose to make that change in students exchange program. I will try to include as much student as I can.
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there is two important things
there are two important things
he appreciate time and like to take responsibilities.
he appreciates time and likes to take responsibilities.
in other country.
in another country.
Sentence: First of all, in my opinion, students exchange programs will improve students' personalities.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to students and exchange
Sentence: For all the purposes that have been discussed above, If I could do only one change, I will choose to make that change in students exchange program.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to students and exchange
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 23 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 303 350
No. of Characters: 1414 1500
No. of Different Words: 173 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.172 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.667 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.543 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 102 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 79 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 50 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.833 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.267 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.444 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.305 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.49 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.1 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5