TPO 3 (independent)
As people regard facts as an essential part of the life that everyone must know about it and have a lot of information about many of them, is it important that we should understand and learn fact more that ideas and concepts? Some people hold the view facts should be taught at school more because their priorities is more than learning concepts and ideas, others strongly believe that it is vital to comprehend concepts. From my perspective, learning facts and theories play an urgent role in everyone’s life. So I firmly agree with the statement. I would like to reinforce my opinion by two important reasons.
First, learning facts apply knowledge into many different situations. In school, actually many of our classes were about one fact and at the end of the term, our teachers take us an exam about that. Actually, the worst point was that all the student whether they understand the subject or not will pass the class, for they memorize these facts. However, I remember that once I went to the university one of our professors who taught us economics always ask us to describe the results. In that case we have to learn our lessons in depth, combine all the facts together in order to create a theory sometimes we made suggestions also. I recall that we write in our papers what these numbers at the end of our calculation mean also what we should do now that we know this factory is going to have an improvement of 10 percent annually. So little by little, it sticks to our mind.
Second, learning concepts and theories make us a good thinker, and improves our creativity. If we used to understand the theory behind something, soon we could learn how to create our own perspectives. For Example, when we are reading an article about Nelson Mandela statistics is not very important; we have to seek to understand what he left behind. For instance, some fact about this person that is not necessary to remember is his birthday , how many years he was imprisoned , maybe the stages of his life etc. how much they are important in comparison to understanding his thoughts, theories and the concept that he left behind?
To sum up, although it is essential to know the facts, understanding concept and ideas behind a fact is of high importance. Therefore, if anyone wants to improve in many aspects of life he or she should be curious about the theories.
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2015-06-02 | negin papen | 60 | view |
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Comments
As you asked me to rewirte
As you asked me to rewirte one of my sentence:
A fact about him which is not necessary to remember is his date of birth.
Actually, the worst point was
Actually, the worst point was that, all the students whether they understand the subject or not, will pass the class, for they memorize these facts.
is this sentence correct?
As people regard facts as an essential part of the life that everyone must know about it
As people regard facts as an essential part of the lives that everyone must know about //Description: 'it' refers to what? Be sensitive to use pronouns. Since 'that' is there, so you don't need to use 'it'
learn fact more that ideas and concepts?
learn fact more than ideas and concepts?
because their priorities is more than learning concepts
because their priorities are more than learning concepts
learning facts and theories play an urgent role
learning facts and theories plays an urgent role //think why 'plays' here?
learning facts apply knowledge into many different situations.
learning facts applies knowledge into many different situations. //here the subject is 'learning facts' not 'facts'
some fact about this person that is not necessary to remember is his birthday
Description: can you re-write this sentence?
Sentence: Actually, the worst point was that all the student whether they understand the subject or not will pass the class, for they memorize these facts.
Description: A negator is not usually followed by a modal auxillary
Suggestion: Refer to not and will
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
Read good sample essays:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/toefl
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 18 in 30
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 415 350
No. of Characters: 1898 1500
No. of Different Words: 210 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.513 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.573 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.51 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 66 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 38 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23.056 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.414 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.778 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.319 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.185 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5