Most cultures encourage individuals to sacrifice a large part of their own personalities in order to be like other people. Thus, most people are afraid to think or behave differently because they do not want to be excluded. - GRE Issue 10
The speaker claims that most cultures encourage conformity at the expense of individuality, and as a result most people conform for fear of being excluded. While I find the second prong of this dual claim well supported overall by empirical evidence, I take exception with the first prong; aside from the cultures created by certain oppressive political regimes, no culture need "encourage" its members to conform to prevailing ways of thought and behavior; in fact, all the evidence shows that cultures attempt to do just the opposite.
As a threshold matter, it is necessary to distinguish be...
Sentence: Yet, all the support for forging one's one unique persona, career, lifestyle, opinions, and even belief system, turns out to be hype.
Error: persona Suggestion: person
flaws:
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.264 0.35
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 1 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 691 350
No. of Characters: 3608 1500
No. of Different Words: 337 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.127 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.221 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.888 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 287 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 221 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 149 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 98 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.593 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.106 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.264 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.48 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5