In the past sporting champions used to be motivated primarily by the desire to win a match or to break worldrecords These days they are more likely to be motivated by prize money and the opportunity to be famous What message does this send to young peop

Submitted by Vikotoru on Fri, 11/12/2021 - 01:27

In the former days, sportspeople aimed to win gold medals and set new records. Nowadays athletes are only intrigued by the prizes and popularity.
These days sporting champions make fools of themselves just for the sake of recognition. They act like toddlers during official games and tournaments, show disrespectful behavior towards they opponents, some even try to cheat. These actions set the wrong expectations for the younger generation. They start believing that becoming an athlete is a piece of cake and can make them rich and world-renowned. However, that is not the case. Sporting champions carry a heavy burden on their shoulders. They make sacrifices on a regular basis to be on the top of their field.
Since in some sports, players are rewarded higher salaries, most sport league are commercialized, as they need to pay their athletes. This causes a significant rise in the prices of tickets and souvenirs at sport stadiums. That is why during games, broadcasted on TV, there are always commercial breaks and sponsor promotions. This industrialization has negatively affected many sports, corrupted officials, game and tournament results being fixed. A large portion of elite teams are now becoming trading associations. They use professional athletes to gain profits.
All in all, the fundamental structures of sports have been lost. There is no sportsmanship, teamwork, athleticism. Sports have become more a business rather than a leisure activity you can enjoy with friends and family. Therefore, I do not support the idea of sport being a profitable industry. Sport is a combination of all kinds of physical activities which are done with a specific reason and in conditions which differ from the daily. Therefore, jumping over a hurdle in a spot’s hall in front of thousands of people is a sport, but jumping over a puddle in the street is just you trying to keep you shoes dry.

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Average: 8.4 (1 vote)
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IELTS Writing Task II - IELTS Academic
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 4, column 135, Rule ID: MORE_A_JJ[1]
Message: Did you mean 'a more business'?
Suggestion: a more business
...amwork, athleticism. Sports have become more a business rather than a leisure activity you can ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
but, however, if, so, therefore

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 17.0 13.1623246493 129% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 3.0 7.85571142285 38% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 10.4138276553 106% => OK
Relative clauses : 5.0 7.30460921844 68% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 22.0 24.0651302605 91% => OK
Preposition: 40.0 41.998997996 95% => OK
Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1596.0 1615.20841683 99% => OK
No of words: 310.0 315.596192385 98% => OK
Chars per words: 5.14838709677 5.12529762239 100% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.19604776685 4.20363070211 100% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.01573397447 2.80592935109 107% => OK
Unique words: 200.0 176.041082164 114% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.645161290323 0.561755894193 115% => OK
syllable_count: 482.4 506.74238477 95% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 11.0 5.43587174349 202% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 2.0 2.52805611222 79% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.10420841683 95% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 0.809619238477 124% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.76152304609 42% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 21.0 16.0721442886 131% => OK
Sentence length: 14.0 20.2975951904 69% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 35.8853680097 49.4020404114 73% => OK
Chars per sentence: 76.0 106.682146367 71% => OK
Words per sentence: 14.7619047619 20.7667163134 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 1.47619047619 7.06120827912 21% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK
Language errors: 1.0 5.01903807615 20% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 11.0 8.67935871743 127% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 5.0 3.9879759519 125% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 3.4128256513 147% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.192583396066 0.244688304435 79% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0479075561281 0.084324248473 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0388197412359 0.0667982634062 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0979988979567 0.151304729494 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0413158665944 0.056905535591 73% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.2 13.0946893788 78% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.27 50.2224549098 114% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.44779559118 42% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.8 11.3001002004 78% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.0 12.4159519038 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.76 8.58950901804 102% => OK
difficult_words: 87.0 78.4519038076 111% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.0 9.78957915832 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 7.6 10.1190380762 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 84.2696629213 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 7.5 Out of 9
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.