Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
This is a universally acknowledged fact that nowadays, all young generations copy their role models' lifestyles Some people hold the opinion that it is a positive development, as this would encourage adolescents to work hard and achieve the success; whereas, others have the conflicting views. Here, in the below essay I will try to enunciate this fact with my own perception.
To begin with, some people hold the opinion that there are many celebrities who had really worked hard to achieve the fame and the success. Moreover, because of their hard work, real skills and abilities, they are eminent personalities in the living society. For example, Sachin Tendulkar is one of the finest batsmen in the world. Many world records in the game of cricket are set by Sachin. Admittedly, to achieve this position and fame, Sachin had put a great effort, dedication and determination, since his childhood. Undeniably, this kind of self made celebrity can inspire children to develop their talent and skills through hard work and the dedication. By the contrast, others have conflicting views.
As per them, there are many celebrities who had achieved the fame and wealth without working for it. They had either inherited the fame and wealth from their parents, grandparents or by marrying a person who is well known super star. Moreover, these personalities are famous because of their wrong doing or the characteristics they portrait in the living society. A good example on this would be Paris Hilton, a well known famous TV personality, who is also a DJ, model, singer and actress. Undoubtedly, she is famous because of her late night parties in the pubs, glamour lifestyle and the wealth she owns from her grandparents. Especially, this kind of celebrity promotes the message to the adolescents that success can be achieved without the hard work; in addition, studies and other essential skills are not really prominent.
To recapitulate, undoubtedly, all the famous personalities are really role models for the people living in society especially for the youngsters. So while portraying their lifestyle’s they should be more careful, otherwise it would have more detrimental effects on their fans.
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they are eminent personalities in the living society.
they have eminent personalities in the living society.
who is well known super star.
who is a well known super star.
Sentence: Moreover, these personalities are famous because of their wrong doing or the characteristics they portrait in the living society.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and portrait
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.5 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 356 350
No. of Characters: 1789 1500
No. of Different Words: 186 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.344 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.025 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.756 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 128 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 58 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 45 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.055 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.647 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.498 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.076 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5