Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
The extended family (grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousins) now is less important than it was in the past.
The query that whether the extended family is less important now that it was in the past has become a contentious issue of debate recently and caused quite a stir among psychologists and numerous circles and camps. There are two distinct schools of thought about this issue: Some people agree that the previously mentioned fact; others disagree. From my perspective, I am against the statement and here are my justifications.
To begin with, in today's hectic and busy lifestyle, each members of our family is important in certain way and in a specific circumstance. As the name "family" is self-explanatory, family members can support us in various scenarios and time is not a matter. For example, my aunt is a nurse and I ask her question about my health problems; my uncle is a chemical engineer and elaborates my engineering problems for me; my cousin is my club and dance partner and we hang out together and enjoy ourselves. In the past or now, they are eager to help me in any way possible, since we love each other and we are members of a bigger family.
Beside the above-mentioned reason, new technologies assisted the family members to feel close to each other and bond the relationship with each other. Thanks to the social networks such as Viber and Telegram, extended family members are connected to each other and are more informed about each other's life. For example, my uncle usually sends me photos from my grandparents who live in another country far away from me; hence, I am aware of their health status. What's more, owing to new transportation systems such as airplanes and high-speed trains, family members can visit each other more often. For instance, my uncle lives in the United States, but he visits his parents and other family members every year or two using high-tech Airline services. None of these was available in the past. Actually, extended family members rarely spoke to or visit each other.
Finally, having discussed this issue from this viewpoint, I would rather analyze it from another point of view. Some sophisticated people cite that, due to current increasingly busy and stressful lifestyle, people hardly get a chance to visit their extended family or speak to them. They are overwhelmed with their own problems; and cannot effort to travel or speak to them. In addition, some people suffer from financial issues, which enforce them to work hard for long hours; therefore, in order to save money and work more, they do not go on vacation to visit their extended family. However, it cannot be concluded that they are less important.
Considering all the above-mentioned arguments, I still disagree with the statement. The extended family now is as vital as it was in the past.
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Sentence: To begin with, in today's hectic and busy lifestyle, each members of our family is important in certain way and in a specific circumstance.
Description: A determiner/pronoun, singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to each and members
Sentence: None of these was available in the past.
Description: The tag a determiner/pronoun, plural is not usually followed by was
Suggestion: Refer to these and was
Sentence: They are overwhelmed with their own problems; and cannot effort to travel or speak to them.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, singular, common
Suggestion: Refer to cannot and effort
Sentence: In addition, some people suffer from financial issues, which enforce them to work hard for long hours; therefore, in order to save money and work more, they do not go on vacation to visit their extended family.
Description: The fragment which enforce them is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace enforce with verb, past tense
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 21 15
No. of Words: 462 350
No. of Characters: 2201 1500
No. of Different Words: 240 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.636 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.764 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.642 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 152 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 103 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.557 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.524 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.313 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.129 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5