The author concludes that a new franchise of Nature’s Way (NW) in Plainsville is going to be very successful. To bolster this conclusion, the author points out the following facts: (1) sales of exercise shoes and clothing are at all-time high; (2) the local health club is more popular than in the past; and (3) the Plainsville’s schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness program. However, the argument is not wholly convincing as it stands due to its logical flaws in several critical respects.
First, the author provides no evidence that the high sales of exercise apparel would be reflected in the sales of NW’s products, or that Plainsville residents are interested in exercising. If the costs of NW’s products are prohibitively higher than those of exercise apparel, the residents might not be able to afford NW’s products, even though they have a very strong desire to improve their health. Therefore, it is difficult to assert that the residents’ tendency to buy sportswear would continue along with sales of NW’s products.
Second, there is no evidence establishing that the customers of the popular local health club will be the prospective customers of the products that NW sells. Perhaps, the health club customers might not feel the necessity of NW’s products and might be able to maintain their health by only taking the health club classes. Even if the club’s clients were to frequent and patronize a NW store, they might not benefit enough from the store since there are no other health clubs.
Finally, even assuming that the Plainsville residents lead healthy life, it does not necessarily indicate that the NW store will be most profitable. If there are other competent stores that supply similar products as NW’s to the residents, it might be difficult to ensure a profit for the NW store. Besides, its clear profit of the store might be significantly low if the rent of the store is extremely high compared to other areas in which the successful NW franchises exist.
In conclusion, the author’s argument relies on a series of unsubstantiated assumptions, and is therefore unconvincing as it stands. To justify this argument, the author should provide sufficient evidence and information that will eliminate all the above doubtful questions. Then, the argument can be completely well reasoned.
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK or you can put argument 3 to argument 1.
Need to argue against (3) the Plainsville’s schoolchildren are required to participate in a fitness program.
suggested:
Although children are required to participate in a fitness programs, that does not guarantee that they will use the health products of Nature's Way to stay fit. They might prefer to stay in shape by exercising daily.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 382 350
No. of Characters: 1898 1500
No. of Different Words: 187 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.421 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.969 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.785 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 137 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 104 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 83 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 49 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.467 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.671 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.733 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.356 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.637 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.116 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5