Telephones and email are the most important inventions for the last century. It made communication between people easy and convenient. It is highly debated issue to determine whether or not telephone has made communication between people less personal. And this issue can be approached from many angles due to its complexity. Highly deliberating over the issue. I decided my own point of view. I believe that electronic devices such like telephone and email between people have made communication less personal. And I will support my opinion with reasons and examples in the following argument.
First, on phone communication usually short and brief and can’t introduce new people for each other’s. When people talk to each other’s by phone they talk for a short time to mention specific information and answer casual questions. If deep cases should to be discussed, further in-person meeting has to be arranged. Take any job interview as an example. When a candidate is selected to a job the communication between the employer and the candidate takes several stages. It stars by an email which is the least personal communication. Then it proceeds to telephone call. A more personal type of communication than the telephone. And finally it is time to in personal interview and this meeting would determine the employment status. This process taught me that in-person meeting is inevitable in most cases.
Secondly, communication by phone or email will never substitute for in-person meeting because it shows less appreciation at least in my opinion. When people talk just on phone or communicate by exchanging few emails that abide ill for the whole relationship. For instance, I like talking by phone to my family. Who live overseas. But I arrange visits to them from time to time. because telephone or emails have never been enough to share my love and appreciation to them. This experience made me be sure that telephone and email are way less personal than in-person communication.
By the way of conclusion. Based on the arguments explored above. I firmly concur that Telephone and email made communication less personal between people. And I believe how beneficial it is for the all people. but I also believe that it can be used as first step of communication and then in-person meeting is inevitable.
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It is highly debated issue
It is a highly debated issue
flaws:
The second paragraph is not right on thet topic.
Don't use pattern sentences, like:
By the way of conclusion. Based on the arguments explored above. I firmly concur that
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: ? in 30
Category: Poor Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 27 15
No. of Words: 379 350
No. of Characters: 1895 1500
No. of Different Words: 185 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.412 4.7
Average Word Length: 5 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 8.099 7.5
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Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.408 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.065 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5