Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more likely for people with more skills to succeed.

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more likely for people with more skills to succeed.

Submitted by Flavinha on Wed, 09/02/2015 - 13:26

I believe that almost everyone imagine that they will be succesful in their lives. Many things such as intelligence, effort, money, and skills lead people to the success path. Anyway, being skilled might be the most important quality to triumph. Therefore, I totally agree that it is more likely for people with more skills to succed for two reasons.

The main reason is that unskilled people may have difficulty to find a good job. Nowaday, employers are looking for people that are able to do their job with extreme competence. This way, who studied to learn a profession will find better jobs. For example, I have a cousin that did not liked to study in her youth ages. While my other cousins and I dedicated to our study, she commonly spent her time partying and drinking alcohol. Today, all the cousins, except for her has a successful career. We concluded college and university courses which taught us impressive skills. Today, my cousin work in a terrible job that pay a low salary, but fortunately she is encouraged to back to school and learn a new profession that might make her successful.

Finally, people that is skilled may do better their everyday responsibilities. Some people have a natural talent to learn anything new. This makes the life easier because anything you practice you can learn fast and do it well. For instance, last year I had a baby boy. I was very nervous of how I was going to take care of that fragile creature. I knew that it is was not going to be easy, so I search for help. I did a mother class and I also asked my mother and aunts teaching me about the initial steps in the maternity. Few weeks before my angel born, I used a doll to practice all the ne abilities that learned. Consequently, I became a skilled mother who could effortlessly do everything that parents need to do for keeping a baby safe, comftable and feeded. I consider myself a successful caregiver.

To sum up, I agree with the statement that people with skills has more chance to become successful. They not only will need to do much effort to find a fine employment but also do better they duties.

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Comments

Sentence: I believe that almost everyone imagine that they will be succesful in their lives.
Description: The fragment everyone imagine that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace imagine with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular

for people that are able to do their job
for people who are able to do their job

I have a cousin that did not liked to study
I have a cousin who did not like to study

a terrible job that pay a low salary
a terrible job that pays a low salary

people that is skilled may do better their everyday responsibilities.
people who are skilled may do their everyday responsibilities better .

people with skills has more chance
people with skills have more chance

Sentence: I knew that it is was not going to be easy, so I search for help.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a verb 'to be', past tense, 1st and 3rd person singular
Suggestion: Refer to is and was

Sentence: They not only will need to do much effort to find a fine employment but also do better they duties.
Description: A pronoun, personal, nominative, not 3rd person singular is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to they and duties

Sentence: I believe that almost everyone imagine that they will be succesful in their lives.
Error: succesful Suggestion: successful

Sentence: Therefore, I totally agree that it is more likely for people with more skills to succed for two reasons.
Error: succed Suggestion: succeed

Sentence: Few weeks before my angel born, I used a doll to practice all the ne abilities that learned.
Error: ne Suggestion: No alternate word

Sentence: Consequently, I became a skilled mother who could effortlessly do everything that parents need to do for keeping a baby safe, comftable and feeded.
Error: comftable Suggestion: countable
Error: feeded Suggestion: No alternate word

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 20 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 8 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 5 2
No. of Sentences: 24 15
No. of Words: 378 350
No. of Characters: 1687 1500
No. of Different Words: 209 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.409 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.463 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.475 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 115 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 73 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 44 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.75 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.418 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.667 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.282 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.438 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.119 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5

Does this sentence make sense now?

Sentence: Consequently, I became a skilled mother who could effortlessly do everything that parents need to do for keeping a baby safe, comfortable, and fed.

Sentence: Consequently, I became a skilled mother who could effortlessly do everything that parents need to do for keeping a baby safe, comftable and feeded.
Error: comftable Suggestion: countable
Error: feeded Suggestion: No alternate word