The Statement should reflect your ability to communicate clearly and provide an overview of your academic and research background, your professional and career goals, and your area of research interest. Additionally, the Statement should describe a rationale for your interest in the Penn State College of Nursing’s PhD program and how the program will contribute to your career plans, including the faculty members who you envision will support your research work and goals
Respected members of the admission committee
I am writing to express my great enthusiasm so to seize the opportunity of studying at Penn State University in the field of a Ph.D. in Nursing. I have recently graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Science of Nursing from the Kurdistan University of Medical Sciences.
As far as I can remember, my mind has always been fascinated with taking care of other people who deal with health issues. My mother used to work as a registered nurse and having her as a role model in my life, made me more interested in choosing nursing as my university field. Nursing in Iran is a very competitive university field and for getting accepted in this field, students are needed to study very hard during their high school education to acquire a great rank in a comprehensive test for university entrance called Konkor. Studying regularly over more than 10 hours a day for more than a year made to be a more consistent and hard worker and not feel disappointed easily. These were the most valuable accomplishments over my pre-undergraduate education that consequently made me eligible to be accepted into the Nursing Science for my bachelor’s degree as I ranked in the top 3% of applicants in Konkor.
The first year of my bachelor’s study was not quite as exciting as I expected. Taking theoretical and fundamental courses which were not correlated to nursing science did not satisfy my executive personality. From the second year of my undergraduate study onwards, I got truly enthusiastic about the nursing field. Taking internship courses through these years made me capable of both practical skills improvement and teamwork. Teamwork is an indispensable fragment of the nursing profession. Even though I have been always interested in team works earlier, studying nursing and working as a registered nurse made me capable to develop this skill more. Being well-organized and punctual as characteristics of my personality assisted me to ameliorate my daily performance to deeply study my courses and consequently pass them with flying colors.
My first research experience was for the article I wrote as the sole author titled “Investigations of Obesity Impacts on Male Fertility: A Narrative Review” which was accepted at the 6th International Conference on Women, Obstetrics, Infertility, and Mental Health, Tbilisi, Georgia (2022). At this conference, I orally presented my article which was an impressive experience while I had an academic presentation in English. It is worth to be pointed that over my educational process I was so eager to have presentations for different courses I attended. Also acquiring a score of 7.5 in IELTS Academic in speaking part would elucidate that I can be a potential candidate for teaching assistant positions in the Ph.D. program.
In addition, I have recently had an article titled “The needs and challenges of disabled people in flood” written by: Payam Emami, Ameneh Marzban, and Sarina Rashidi. This article has been submitted to the Iranian Journal of War and Public Health and it is still under review. Flood in recent years has been a very serious and common natural disaster and the importance of considering disabled people as a vulnerable population is underestimated. Doing this research in addition to my previous experience in writing the conference paper I mentioned, has exposed me to the basics of research. Also, over the last two years of my education, I used to be a member of the Next Generation Researchers’ committee and I participated in several educational courses focusing on research. These together make me optimistic about studying Ph.D. and doing research since these experiences would lend me a hand in achieving my goals.
A couple of months after I graduated, I could land a job at Kowsar Hospital to work as a Registered Nurse. As working in the Intensive Care Unit calls for extensive knowledge in nursing so, it is not easy for everyone to work in this unit at the threshold of their occupation. Due to my great educational background and my certificate for being the ranked 1st student on the final comprehensive test in the bachelor’s program and after passing a brief test, I got eligible to work at ICU. Over this short span, I learned how to be accurate, quick, and passionate more since the only one's patients in ICU interact with would be the health teamwork and more especially the nurses.
Although I love taking Care of patients, since the last year of my bachelor’s education I am thinking about being more influential in people’s lives. By getting into the academic arena and doing much research I will be able to take more steps in accomplishing my goals. During the Bachelor’s program students are not afforded opportunities to do research. Thus, I decided to study for a Ph.D. in nursing to be able to do much research and subsequently become a professor who can be an influential member of Iran’s society. Also, according to Iran’s situation and woman’s professional and social positions, I feel more responsible for pursuing my goals to prove women deserve more, and that they can achieve whatever they want. Doing research and reaching out for more data on groups of people, their issues and their challenges can change many lives. I am particularly interested in health disparities and vulnerable populations (women, the elderly) research areas. I am also interested in the cancer-related topic. However, I might not have a specific research background in this research area.
Choosing the Penn state university as the ranked 43rd university in the US in Nursing Science with highly professional professors and mentors can help me achieve my goals. I had a meeting with Dr. Sheridan Miyamoto and her research area including the SAFE-T Scope and sexually assaulted women perfectly aligns with my interest. In Iran due to cultural perspectives sexually assaulted victims do not receive the appropriate support they need and they mostly hide the tragic occurrence they have experienced. Meanwhile, they might be blamed or judged and this put intense pressure on them making them not perfectly go through the healing process. I am also willing to study under the supervision of Dr. Jocelyn C. Anderson, Diane Berish, Susan J. Loeb, and Britney M. Wardecker. As their Research Interests align with mine as well.
I believe that the program offered will help me reach my full potential as a researcher. It would, therefore, be a privilege to pursue graduate studies at the Penn State University. I am confident that I will match the high standards set by your university. For mor information please refer to my CV. Also, If you have any other questions, I will glad to have a meeting with you.
I appreciate your consideration
Sincerely Yours,
Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
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2022-10-27 | Sarina2021 | 61 | view |
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 247, Rule ID: AFFORD_VBG[1]
Message: This verb is used with infinitive: 'to nurse'.
Suggestion: to nurse
...fe, made me more interested in choosing nursing as my university field. Nursing in Iran...
^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 395, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'skills'' or 'skill's'?
Suggestion: skills'; skill's
...years made me capable of both practical skills improvement and teamwork. Teamwork is a...
^^^^^^
Line 4, column 507, Rule ID: ADVERB_WORD_ORDER[8]
Message: The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'have' and 'been'.
Suggestion: have always been
...f the nursing profession. Even though I have been always interested in team works earlier, study...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 553, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...tions for different courses I attended. Also acquiring a score of 7.5 in IELTS Acade...
^^^^
Line 8, column 680, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...eamwork and more especially the nurses. Although I love taking Care of patients,...
^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, consequently, first, however, if, second, so, still, therefore, thus, well, while, as for, i feel, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 34.0 13.1623246493 258% => Less to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 18.0 7.85571142285 229% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 37.0 10.4138276553 355% => Less conjunction wanted
Relative clauses : 11.0 7.30460921844 151% => OK
Pronoun: 120.0 24.0651302605 499% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 148.0 41.998997996 352% => Less preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 29.0 8.3376753507 348% => Less nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 5695.0 1615.20841683 353% => Less number of characters wanted.
No of words: 1120.0 315.596192385 355% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.08482142857 5.12529762239 99% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.78501521704 4.20363070211 138% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.05711352101 2.80592935109 109% => OK
Unique words: 502.0 176.041082164 285% => Less unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.448214285714 0.561755894193 80% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 1794.6 506.74238477 354% => syllable counts are too long.
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.60771543086 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 31.0 5.43587174349 570% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 3.0 2.52805611222 119% => OK
Subordination: 7.0 2.10420841683 333% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 6.0 0.809619238477 741% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 12.0 4.76152304609 252% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 51.0 16.0721442886 317% => Too many sentences.
Sentence length: 21.0 20.2975951904 103% => OK
Sentence length SD: 57.6913262074 49.4020404114 117% => OK
Chars per sentence: 111.666666667 106.682146367 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.9607843137 20.7667163134 106% => OK
Discourse Markers: 2.27450980392 7.06120827912 32% => More transition words/phrases wanted.
Paragraphs: 11.0 4.38176352705 251% => Less paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.01903807615 100% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 31.0 8.67935871743 357% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 3.9879759519 226% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 11.0 3.4128256513 322% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.089721529579 0.244688304435 37% => The similarity between the topic and the content is low.
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0270319085051 0.084324248473 32% => Sentence topic similarity is low.
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0407559991279 0.0667982634062 61% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0516231959918 0.151304729494 34% => Maybe some paragraphs are off the topic.
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0608363153011 0.056905535591 107% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.5 13.0946893788 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 50.2224549098 100% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.18 12.4159519038 98% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.74 8.58950901804 102% => OK
difficult_words: 288.0 78.4519038076 367% => Less difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 9.78957915832 143% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.1190380762 103% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 10.7795591182 130% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Maximum five paragraphs wanted.
Rates: 61.797752809 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.5 Out of 9
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.