Schools should only provide subjects that are beneficial to students' future careers. Other subjects, such as art and sports, are not important. Do you agree or disagree?
Many people have different views about what subjects should be taught in school. Although I accept that students should study those professional subjects, I believe the other subjects, such as art and sports, is as important as professional subjects, and school should not remove these subjects.
It is clear that concentration on those vocational courses provides a solid foundation for children's future careers. Students would acquire those knowledge and skills quickly if school only provides professional subjects. In such a competitive world, parents also want their children to acquire more professional skills in order to find a job easily in future.
However/ On the other hand, students have their rights to choose courses by their interest. Those subjects like art and sports might be interested by some students, if school limited the subjects, there is no chance left for students to choose. Furthermore, both arts and sports play important roles in our lives. Arts develops students artistic skills and appreciation, it is a fundamental skill set for jobs related to design. Similarly, playing sports help to maintain our body at a healthy level, which is also critical to our life. Therefore, these subjects is not useless but help students build up their ability for future careers. Finally, students' career success is not closely related to what they learned in school but more on the efforts and soft skills they acquired, like emotional quality, communication and presentation skills, etc.
In conclusion, I believe school should not limit the range of subjects, in contrast, school should provide as many as different courses in order to widen students' view and open their mind, the chance should be left to students to choose their favorable subjects and decide their future career path.
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Comments
thanks for the evaluation, if
thanks for the evaluation, if I can reduce the grammatical errors to below 2, would that improve the score by 0.5?
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other subjects, such as art and sports, is as important as professional subjects,
other subjects, such as art and sports, are as important as professional subjects,
Arts develops students artistic skills
Arts develops students' artistic skills
Similarly, playing sports help to maintain
Similarly, playing sports helps to maintain
Therefore, these subjects is not useless
Therefore, these subjects are not useless
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 150 200
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 288 350
No. of Characters: 1484 1500
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.12 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.153 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.607 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 124 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 83 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 57 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 25 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 22.154 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.472 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.381 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.574 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.083 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5