Some people believed that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs. (For example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Some people believed that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs. (For example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In the last few years, there were controversial issues that secondary school should include the non-profit organization to the systems. In the other hand, some people hold the opinion that it is not really needed. Here the essay below I will try to enunciate on both facts based on my perception.

To begin with, I completely support the idea that involve the unpaid social activities should be applied within the high school systems. This concept will be indispensable help the formation of their personality in the civilization due to the student in the secondary school are consists with people in the unstable phase. Thus, this is the appropriate time to stimulate pupils with the positive things in order to make them used to apply these good behaviors in the foreseeable future. For instance, encourage them teaching sports for younger children in terms of assist the teenagers to intensify their sense of sportsmanship and rise the confidence to communicate in front of people.

Furthermore, the idea of implement non-profit community service as part as school activities can also hone their sensitivity with the others. Intrinsically, all of human was born as a social creature. It was obviously known that they need each other’s help to stay alive. To illustrate, we can involve them to be a volunteer in charity event for an orphans. This notion can improve the sense of concern to the fellow and become more grateful which is cannot be learnt by the textbooks. In short, community service has benefit to help the school to embed an implicit knowledge about empathy in the social life.

Following the analyzing of nonprofit social activities, I stand to support this idea become a part of mandatory programs in the school. It is clear that this idea is the most efficient way to shape the better children’s personality.

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2016-01-14 nikynadia 60 view
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In the other hand,
On the other hand,

I completely support the idea that involve the unpaid social activities should be applied
I completely support the idea that involving the unpaid social activities should be applied

This concept will be indispensable help the formation of their personality
This concept will be an indispensable help the formation of their personality

due to the student in the secondary school are consists with people in the unstable phase.
Description: can you re-write this sentence? a lot of errors

in terms of assist the teenagers
Description: check books how to use 'in terms of'

which is cannot be learnt by the textbooks.
which cannot be learnt by the textbooks.

I stand to support this idea become a part of mandatory programs
I stand to support this idea to become a part of mandatory programs

flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2

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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 15 15
No. of Words: 305 350
No. of Characters: 1497 1500
No. of Different Words: 177 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.179 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.908 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.737 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 108 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 75 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 44 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.333 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.873 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.4 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.307 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.519 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.078 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5