An international development organization in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A While seeds for this new type of millet cost more farmers will be paid

Essay topics:

An international development organization, in response to a vitamin A deficiency among people in the impoverished nation of Tagus, has engineered a new breed of millet high in vitamin A. While seeds for this new type of millet cost more, farmers will be paid subsidies for farming the new variety of millet. Since millet is already a staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt the new variety. To combat vitamin A deficiency, the government of Tagus should do everything it can to promote this new type of millet.

The author avers that millet rich in vitamin A engineered by an international organization will be readily adopted by the people of Tagus. The Author substantiates the claim by saying that the farmers will be paid subsidy to lower the price of the new high costing millets and as millets are the staple food in Tagus, people will readily adopt it. Also he states that government should also support this to curb the vitamin A deficency. However, the author supports the conclusion with 3 unstated assumptions that, if not substantiated, dramtatically weakens the persuasiveness of the argument.

Firstly, will these millets cost the same to the end user? The author states that farmers would get subsidy to grow these millets. But there is a chance that even after subsidy these millets are still more expensive to grow and sell in the local market. The end user might not buy these millets due to their high cost and farmers might also not grow these in their farms. There is a chance that these millets require higher soil quality and higher water need, therby increasing the cost to grow them as well, making it more expensive to the daily users. These millets might take longer time to grow making the return on investment lower for the farmers.

Second of all, are these millets similar in taste to the old staple millets that the people are alredy consuming? These millets might not be tasting good and it could be difficult for these millets to carve out a niche for themselves. Population of tagus might mix these millets with other food items and maybe the new millets might taste differnt than the old millets in with older combinations. There is a chance that people might hate them because of their taste and isolation. The quality of the millets might not be upto the mark that is acceptable to the population if Tagus. Other nutrients might be absent in them making them harmful for the people at large as it is their staple diet.

Thirdly, what if people are not able to differntiate them from the old millets? These millets might look similar to the old millets and the population is not able to differentiate them from the old millets. Maybe, people are not aware of the vitamin A deficeincy and they don't care about it. Moreover people are not able to differntiate them in looks. This would seriously harm the sale of the millets as the end user is not likely to buy these as they don't see any positive factor that these new millets might have over the old one.

In conclusion, the argument as it stands now, is coniderably flawed due to it's reliance on several unwarranted assumptions. If the author is able to answer the above three questions and is able to provide more evidence (perhaps in the form of a more systematic study), then only it will be possible to fully evaluate the viability of success of the proposed new millets in the impoverished natition of Tagus.

Votes
Average: 5.8 (1 vote)
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Comments

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 349, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
...in Tagus, people will readily adopt it. Also he states that government should also s...
^^^^
Line 5, column 139, Rule ID: PROGRESSIVE_VERBS[1]
Message: This verb is normally not used in the progressive form. Try a simple form instead.
...redy consuming? These millets might not be tasting good and it could be difficult for thes...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 273, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...re of the vitamin A deficeincy and they dont care about it. Moreover people are not ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 293, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...deficeincy and they dont care about it. Moreover people are not able to differntiate the...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 454, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...user is not likely to buy these as they dont see any positive factor that these new ...
^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, however, if, look, may, moreover, second, so, still, then, third, thirdly, well, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 24.0 19.5258426966 123% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 21.0 12.4196629213 169% => OK
Conjunction : 11.0 14.8657303371 74% => OK
Relative clauses : 11.0 11.3162921348 97% => OK
Pronoun: 50.0 33.0505617978 151% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 61.0 58.6224719101 104% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 12.9106741573 93% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2395.0 2235.4752809 107% => OK
No of words: 507.0 442.535393258 115% => OK
Chars per words: 4.72386587771 5.05705443957 93% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.74517233601 4.55969084622 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.49605659058 2.79657885939 89% => OK
Unique words: 212.0 215.323595506 98% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.418145956607 0.4932671777 85% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 753.3 704.065955056 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59117977528 94% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 6.24550561798 64% => OK
Article: 7.0 4.99550561798 140% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 3.10617977528 64% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.77640449438 56% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 4.38483146067 23% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 20.2370786517 114% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 23.0359550562 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 51.3832480995 60.3974514979 85% => OK
Chars per sentence: 104.130434783 118.986275619 88% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.0434782609 23.4991977007 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.26086956522 5.21951772744 101% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 4.97078651685 101% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 7.80617977528 64% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 7.0 10.2758426966 68% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 5.13820224719 136% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 9.0 4.83258426966 186% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.330324667988 0.243740707755 136% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.107666553867 0.0831039109588 130% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0841282967144 0.0758088955206 111% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.19744186829 0.150359130593 131% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0805305565144 0.0667264976115 121% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.8 14.1392134831 83% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 57.61 48.8420337079 118% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.92365168539 39% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.1743820225 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.1 12.1639044944 83% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.75 8.38706741573 92% => OK
difficult_words: 97.0 100.480337079 97% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.5 11.8971910112 97% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.2143820225 96% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.7820224719 93% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.