The following appeared in a memorandum from the new president of the Patriot car manufacturing company.
"In the past, the body styles of Patriot cars have been old-fashioned, and our cars have not sold as well as have our competitors' cars. But now, since many regions in this country report rapid increases in the numbers of newly licensed drivers, we should be able to increase our share of the market by selling cars to this growing population. Thus, we should discontinue our oldest models and concentrate instead on manufacturing sporty cars. We can also improve the success of our marketing campaigns by switching our advertising to the Youth Advertising agency, which has successfully promoted the country's leading soft drink."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
In this memorandum the new president shares an optimistic note on the possible increase in car shares according to the changing scenario in the country where he is hopeful of the increase in car shares and asks his workers to concentrate on new sport cars instead of old fashioned cars. On close scrutiny of the above memorandum one can easily say that it is a very poorly researched piece with little or no research done by a person living in his own bubble who seems to be out of touch with reality.
The first major flaw in this argument is to believe that it was because of old body styles that patriot cars were not sold as much as there competitors. The president provides so substantial evidence of the same that it was because of the body styles that the car sales were less.it might be because of poor quality engine , astronomical price or poor after sales services of the cars due to which the sales might have plummeted but all these factors seem to be overlooked over here.
Then the second major flaw according to me in this argument is the belief that since there is an increase in the number of newly licensed drivers the company will be able to increase the car share here the president simply assumes that there will be substantial market for the company with this increase in the newly licensed drivers. here the factors which are not taken into consideration are whether all newly licensed drivers can afford to buy a car, would every new driver buy a car, do these new drivers have any sort of willingness or inclination towards patriot cars and the stiff competition from other competitors to tap into this new upcoming market of drivers.
The next flaw I found here is that the president believes that they should stop manufacturing there oldest model and focus towards manufacturing new cars .This statements seems to stem from some half baked research as nowhere is it mentioned that the company was loosing because of its oldest models rather in several cases these oldest models have a sentimental and nostalgic value with several new customers also there cheap price attracts several new, inexperienced drivers who are not so sure about their driving skills as cost of repairs after damage is not very high. Also nowhere is it mentioned that the nee licensed drivers are interested in sporty cars or that they have the inclination towards these types of cars so to merely assume that by shifting focus on manufacturing sporty cars would increase the sales of the company seems extremely naïve.
Then the president suggests to improve marketing campaigns by switching to Youth advertising agency which has successfully promoted the country's leading soft drink over here one must understand that simply because the advertising agency promoted the country's leading soft drink does not mean it has the expertise or the ability to promote a new car as the automobile market is very different from the market of soft drinks. And despite a vigorous marketing campaign the sales would only improve when customers are truly satisfied with the car so just assuming that an aggressive marketing campaign would do wonders is simply unacceptable.
Overall I can say that while the memorandum from the president sounds very optimistic and encouraging the memorandum written has gaping holes in it and clearly the assumptions in the memorandum stem from a lazy and superficial market analysis and research,
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2023-07-20 | Tanmay Shikhare | 78 | view |
| 2023-06-06 | shubham1103 | 63 | view |
| 2020-08-02 | miloni22 | 66 | view |
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 581 350
No. of Characters: 2819 1500
No. of Different Words: 253 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.91 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.852 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.593 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 192 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 149 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 97 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 63 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 48.417 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.407 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.75 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.372 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.716 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.067 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 291, Rule ID: CLOSE_SCRUTINY[1]
Message: Use simply 'scrutiny'.
Suggestion: scrutiny
... cars instead of old fashioned cars. On close scrutiny of the above memorandum one can easily ...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 322, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... might be because of poor quality engine , astronomical price or poor after sales ...
^^
Line 3, column 335, Rule ID: UPPERCASE_SENTENCE_START
Message: This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
Suggestion: Here
...increase in the newly licensed drivers. here the factors which are not taken into co...
^^^^
Line 4, column 95, Rule ID: THE_SUPERLATIVE[2]
Message: A determiner is probably missing here: 'there the oldest'.
Suggestion: there the oldest
...ves that they should stop manufacturing there oldest model and focus towards manufacturing n...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 154, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...and focus towards manufacturing new cars .This statements seems to stem from some ...
^^
Line 4, column 155, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
...d focus towards manufacturing new cars .This statements seems to stem from some half...
^^^^
Line 4, column 155, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: These
...d focus towards manufacturing new cars .This statements seems to stem from some half...
^^^^
Line 4, column 171, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'seem'.
Suggestion: seem
...manufacturing new cars .This statements seems to stem from some half baked research a...
^^^^^
Line 4, column 574, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Also,
... repairs after damage is not very high. Also nowhere is it mentioned that the nee li...
^^^^
Line 5, column 20, Rule ID: ADMIT_ENJOY_VB[1]
Message: This verb is used with the gerund form: 'suggests improving'.
Suggestion: suggests improving
...ms extremely naïve. Then the president suggests to improve marketing campaigns by switching to You...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, if, look, second, so, then, while, sort of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 26.0 19.6327345309 132% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 15.0 11.1786427146 134% => OK
Relative clauses : 23.0 13.6137724551 169% => OK
Pronoun: 44.0 28.8173652695 153% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 72.0 55.5748502994 130% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 16.3942115768 43% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2844.0 2260.96107784 126% => OK
No of words: 581.0 441.139720559 132% => OK
Chars per words: 4.89500860585 5.12650576532 95% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90957651803 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.60651958217 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 256.0 204.123752495 125% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.440619621343 0.468620217663 94% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 911.7 705.55239521 129% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 3.0 8.76447105788 34% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 2.70958083832 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 11.0 19.7664670659 56% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 52.0 22.8473053892 228% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 109.17239381 57.8364921388 189% => OK
Chars per sentence: 258.545454545 119.503703932 216% => Less chars_per_sentence wanted.
Words per sentence: 52.8181818182 23.324526521 226% => Less words per sentence wanted.
Discourse Markers: 5.45454545455 5.70786347227 96% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 8.0 8.20758483034 97% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.176381591843 0.218282227539 81% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0737063994688 0.0743258471296 99% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0309434149899 0.0701772020484 44% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0948988861657 0.128457276422 74% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0188766768498 0.0628817314937 30% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 28.1 14.3799401198 195% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 18.7 48.3550499002 39% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 11.2 7.1628742515 156% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 23.6 12.197005988 193% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.03 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.99 8.32208582834 108% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 18.0 12.3882235529 145% => OK
gunning_fog: 22.8 11.1389221557 205% => Gunning_fog is high.
text_standard: 24.0 11.9071856287 202% => The average readability is very high. Good job!
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.