What are the qualities of a good neighbor?
Everyone can answer to this question and present some features as important factors for a perfect neighbor based on his/her own characters, emotional concerns or personal experience. However, I claim that following qualities are more important than others and if one consider my explanation he/she may agree with me.
In my view of point, the most important factor is passion because we spend most of our day life in home near by our neighbors and it will be awful if they can't be passion in some cases. I will explain my point by a true story of mine when I wanted to have a graduation party with my friends at my home. Asking my neighbors to endure the high music until end of the party, I could celebrate my graduation with a good memory, but I couldn't have well celebrated party if one of the neighbors didn't let me to play high music. Of course I will do the same for my lovely neighbors and I appreciate them for their passions.
In addition, participation in works is another significant factors for an excellent neighbor. For instance, last month I asked one of the neighbors who called John to help me with house painting and he accepted. Getting a hand from him, I could finish the job sooner than I expected, resulting to pay more time on other works such as planting flowers in garden. To return Johns favor, I helped him to fix his car last week while he wanted to go to the university and he was in hurry, also I lend him mine because he would miss his class if he wanted to wait until finishing the fix. If you want to have a good neighbor, it demands that you will be a perfect one too.
In sum, while we can create a large list about essential factors for a good neighbors to depict an accurate picture, taking all the factors into account, I can reach the conclusion that those two qualities are more important than other features that anyone can name.
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Sentence: However, I claim that following qualities are more important than others and if one consider my explanation he/she may agree with me.
Description: The fragment one consider my is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace consider with verb, past tense
if they can't be passion in some cases
if they can't be passionate in some cases
is another significant factors
is another significant factor
flaws:
More compound or complex sentences wanted. Don't always use 'you, I, they...' as the subject of a sentence.
To get higher marks, better to have 5 paragraphs with 3 arguments. read TOEFL essays by this user:
http://testbig.com/users/ftn
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 22 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 12 15
No. of Words: 348 350
No. of Characters: 1497 1500
No. of Different Words: 193 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.319 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.302 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.439 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 91 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 68 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 48 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 30 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 11.015 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.833 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.387 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.601 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.227 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5