A company is going to give money either to support arts or to protect the environment.Which do you think the company should choose? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Many companies prefer to support Arts. They say if they do so they will help a lot of Art categories reach large numbers of population. Although I understand this point of view, I have a different opinion. I believe that supporting the environment is very important due to several reasons.
First, the environment is the place where we live and work. If you can take care of it You will gain a healthy, and clean place to live in. For example, my company last year make a social activity for all company employees including cleaning the neighborhood of the company and make small committee to advice the people live in this neighborhood to put the trash in its specific place and not to throw it in the street. As a result, the neighborhood become a neat place and the people that live there feel the difference in their quality of life. On the other hand, I saw a report in the TV last night about some neighborhoods complaining about the presence of a lot of insects that spread a large numbers of diseases which are fatal for the human beings. Therefore, the TV show try to detect the cause of this situation, and they found that the careless of the people living there and the accumulation of trash and food on the streets helps the insects and a lot of bacteria to live and proliferate there. So , you can see by yourself the difference in the results if you take care of your environment.
Second, by supporting the environment that will increase the economy of your country in variety of ways. for instance, if you keep your environment clean, neat, planting trees and flowers; all of that will make your city beautiful and encourage a lot of tourists to visit it and increase your city taxes, and constraction leading to raise the economy of your city. In contrast, you can see in the internet websites that there are several countries suffering from economy turningdown. whereas if you seek the cause you can see that they don't take care of the place they are living in or working in. Regardless to the fact they take care of the art in their country, they don't have a good economic plans.
In conclusion, for the reasons stated above; I encourage companies and all the committees to support their environment first. They can for example try to support this idea for a couple months and see the results. If they do so they will see themselves how this will effect their business, lives and economy and they will be glad that they did!
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2016-06-02 | may82 | 70 | view |
- 考满分 toeflTPO-02 Independent Writingnext29:37 HIDE TIMEDirections: You have 30 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of the quality of your writing and on how well your response presents the points in the 70
- multiple subjects 73
- TPO-01 Integrated Writingnext19:51 HIDE TIMEDirections: You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of the quality of your writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the 70
- A company is going to give money either to support arts or to protect the environment.Which do you think the company should choose? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. 70
- 考满分 toeflTPO-02 Integrated Writingnext17:02 HIDE TIMEDirections: You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of the quality of your writing and on how well your response presents the points in the 70
my company last year make a social activity
my company last year made a social activity
and make small committee to advice the people live in this neighborhood
and make small committee to advice the people who live in this neighborhood
by supporting the environment that will increase the economy of your country
by supporting the environment, it will increase the economy of your country //don't use 'that' here. 'It' is a subject here
Sentence: Second, by supporting the environment that will increase the economy of your country in variety of ways. for instance, if you keep your environment clean, neat, planting trees and flowers; all of that will make your city beautiful and encourage a lot of tourists to visit it and increase your city taxes, and constraction leading to raise the economy of your city.
Error: constraction Suggestion: construction
Sentence: In contrast, you can see in the internet websites that there are several countries suffering from economy turningdown. whereas if you seek the cause you can see that they don't take care of the place they are living in or working in.
Error: turningdown Suggestion: turning down
flaws:
More sentences varieties wanted. Try to use less pronouns (like 'It, I, They, We, You...') as the subject of a sentence.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 21 in 30
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 17 15
No. of Words: 441 350
No. of Characters: 1962 1500
No. of Different Words: 195 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.583 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.449 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.527 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 93 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 59 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 40 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.941 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 15.368 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.765 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.312 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.509 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.147 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5