Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment – doing things they like to do – rather than doing things they should do.

Everyone wish that he can do only the things he enjoys doing. However,I believe that all human beings are living in a world that is considered to be a demanding one. Therefore, unfortunatly this concept is not practical. That is why I firmly disagree that people today spend much time on personal enjoyment.

First of all, We don't always have choices, there are commitments that we should do, even if we don't enjoy them. Take for instance all the mothers in the world; when they have to wake up in the middle of the night to deal with any of their kids issues; such as sickness, food, changing d...

*** The full content of this essay is available to VIP readers

Votes
Average: 9.5 (2 votes)
Essay Categories

Sentence: Everyone wish that he can do only the things he enjoys doing.
Description: The fragment Everyone wish that is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace wish with verb, present tense, 3rd person singular

Sentence: Therefore, unfortunatly this concept is not practical.
Error: unfortunatly Suggestion: unfortunately

Sentence: Thus, people still might deprive themselves from personl enjoyment, in order to maintain a good healthy bodies.
Error: personl Suggestion: personal

It is on top list:
http://www.testbig.com/essay-categories/toefl

Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 27 in 30
Category: Excellent Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 23 15
No. of Words: 409 350
No. of Characters: 1823 1500
No. of Different Words: 194 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.497 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.457 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.295 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 111 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 69 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 45 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 27 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.783 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.413 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.87 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.301 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.503 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.098 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5