A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The argument that an increased commercial use of salicylates in food stuff can bring down the number of headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia, may seem to be logical at first glance. The author makes a valid argument, one that could be correct if its premises were to be true. However, the author's conclusion relies on assumptions for which there is no supporting evidence and uses terms that lack definitions.
First, the author has assumed that a decline in the average number of headaches reported by test participants occurring roughly in parallel with the increase in commercial use of salicylates in Mentia cocnlusively proves that the increased use of salicylates is the only reason for steady decline of headaches in the participants. The author has not given any evidence which showes that the participants actually started consuming a larger quantity of salicylates after which the average number of headaches declined. In actuality, the usage of salicylates may have been in a limited number of food items and many of the participants may actually not have increased their salicylates consumptions. If there was some evidence to prove that there was in-fact an increase in salicylates intake among the study participants at the time when the decline in headaches was reported, it would have strengthened the author's position.
Additionally, the author has assumed that all test participants had same kind of headaches and he has not examined any other possible reasons which could have caused a decline in headaches. Some of the participants may have headaches due to sleep issues, for others it may have been because of stress, some may have had migranes or sinucitis while some may have headaches due to eye problems. If such had been the case, the causes of decline would also be quite different and consumption of an analgesic like salicylates may not have to do much with it. If we assume, that all participants had similar type of stress or sleep related headaches, there could be aother reasons for a decline. For example at that time, the offices all across Mentia may have started stress-relief programmes like aerobics and yoga which would have actually been responsible for the decline in average number of headahces. If the author gave some evidence to rule out all the other such posibilities, it would have supported his argument.
Lastly, the author has not stated anything regarding the additional effects of salicylates. He states that salicylates are similar to aspirin which is a pain-killer in general. If salicylates do not specifically target headaches for which there is certainly no evidence provided. , they will also act as general pain releivers. If the author had provided some evidence showing that with increased use of salicylates average intensity of other varieties of pain like sprian etc, have also reduced, it would lend some credibility to his arguemt.
In conclusion, the author may not be necessarily wrong in assuming that an increased use of salicylates in foodstuff may bring down the average number of headaches in Mentain residents. But to support his current conclusion that an increase in salicylates consumption through foodstuff will actually reduce headaches the author must first define the scope of problem properly and provide conclusive evidence to support his conclusion.
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Sentence: First, the author has assumed that a decline in the average number of headaches reported by test participants occurring roughly in parallel with the increase in commercial use of salicylates in Mentia cocnlusively proves that the increased use of salicylates is the only reason for steady decline of headaches in the participants.
Error: cocnlusively Suggestion: conclusively
Sentence: The author has not given any evidence which showes that the participants actually started consuming a larger quantity of salicylates after which the average number of headaches declined.
Error: showes Suggestion: showed
Sentence: If we assume, that all participants had similar type of stress or sleep related headaches, there could be aother reasons for a decline.
Error: aother Suggestion: other
Sentence: For example at that time, the offices all across Mentia may have started stress-relief programmes like aerobics and yoga which would have actually been responsible for the decline in average number of headahces.
Error: stress-relief Suggestion: stress relief
Error: headahces Suggestion: headaches
Sentence: If the author gave some evidence to rule out all the other such posibilities, it would have supported his argument.
Error: posibilities Suggestion: possibilities
Sentence: If salicylates do not specifically target headaches for which there is certainly no evidence provided. , they will also act as general pain releivers.
Error: releivers Suggestion: receivers
Sentence: If the author had provided some evidence showing that with increased use of salicylates average intensity of other varieties of pain like sprian etc, have also reduced, it would lend some credibility to his arguemt.
Error: arguemt Suggestion: argue
flaws:
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.5 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 19 15
No. of Words: 541 350
No. of Characters: 2762 1500
No. of Different Words: 218 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.823 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.105 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.849 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 205 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 163 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 119 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 82 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 28.474 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.167 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 1 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.391 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.592 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.173 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5