In the preceding argument the author claim a connection between the birth order and the individual monkey's or human's reaction on stimlation, citing the evidence that firstborn rhesus monkeys show a higher cortisol level upon stimulation. Although the argument seems appealing at first sight, upon careful scrutiny, it is rife with wholes and flaws
Firstly, the argument is based on a small samples of a single species. As the author mentioned, only eighteen rhesus monkeys were used for the experiment. But species varies greatly in their physiology, thus the result got from rhesus monkeys may not be a generalized one and cannot be applied to other species as a whole. Additionally, only eighteen monkeys were included, which is a relatively small sample volume, making the result not persuasive.
Secondly, the author of the letter use cortisol level as a measurement of the stimulus. Although cortisol may be an important hormone secreted upon stimulation, we have to bear it in mind that organisms are a complex system, and it is quite likely that other hormones or chemicals also play an indispensable role in the reaction to stimulus, and are not considered. Also, cortisol may have other rules other than stimulus correspondence. Thus, use corticol level to present the monkeys reaction to stimulus can be invalid. The author need to show more data from different perspective to support his or her argument.
Last but not least, given that the use of cortisol as a measurement is proper and valid, the real cause of the augmented cortisol level can be explained other reasons, such as parental influence. The author stated mother monkeys show more cortisol as well, so there's a the possibility that the mother monkeys release more cortisol for some unknown reasons, and these molecules diffuse into the baby's blood, giving a misleading scenario that baby monkeys release more cortisol by themselves. Further investigation is needed to make this point clear.
Summing up, although not completely wrong, the author's augument is based on many premises and assumptions that have not been tested scientifically. A thorough study is of vital importance to should be carried out to support or optimize the author's argument above.
- TPO-48 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Because modern life is very complex, it is essential for young people to have the ability to plan and organize. 76
- TPO-33 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?When teachers assign projects on which students must work together, the students learn much more effectively than when they are asked to work alone on projects.Use spe 73
- Claim:Governments must ensure that their major cities receive the financial support they need in order to thrive.Reason:It is primarily in cities that a nation’s cultural traditions are preserved and generated. 70
- The following appeared in a memorandum from the owner of Movies Galore, a chain of video rental stores.“In order to reverse the recent decline in our profits, we must reduce operating expenses at Movies Galore’s ten video rental stores. Since we are f 83
- TPO-21 - Integrated Writing Task Genetic modification, a process used to change an organism’s genes and hence its characteristics, is now being used to improve trees through genetic modification. It is possible to create trees that produce more fruit, g 73
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 479, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'monkeys'' or 'monkey's'?
Suggestion: monkeys'; monkey's
...Thus, use corticol level to present the monkeys reaction to stimulus can be invalid. Th...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 261, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: there's
... monkeys show more cortisol as well, so theres a the possibility that the mother monke...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 268, Rule ID: DT_DT[1]
Message: Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only 'a' or 'the' is left.
Suggestion: a; the
...s show more cortisol as well, so theres a the possibility that the mother monkeys rel...
^^^^^
Line 9, column 241, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... carried out to support or optimize the authors argument above.
^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, first, firstly, if, may, second, secondly, so, thus, well, such as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 8.0 12.9520958084 62% => OK
Conjunction : 14.0 11.1786427146 125% => OK
Relative clauses : 8.0 13.6137724551 59% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 17.0 28.8173652695 59% => OK
Preposition: 36.0 55.5748502994 65% => OK
Nominalization: 21.0 16.3942115768 128% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1885.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 361.0 441.139720559 82% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.2216066482 5.12650576532 102% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.35889894354 4.56307096286 96% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.82222668056 2.78398813304 101% => OK
Unique words: 196.0 204.123752495 96% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.542936288089 0.468620217663 116% => OK
syllable_count: 596.7 705.55239521 85% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Interrogative: 0.0 0.471057884232 0% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 4.0 1.67365269461 239% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 15.0 19.7664670659 76% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 73.2989010074 57.8364921388 127% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.666666667 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.0666666667 23.324526521 103% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.13333333333 5.70786347227 90% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.133601469107 0.218282227539 61% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0470137191075 0.0743258471296 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0479934041804 0.0701772020484 68% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0750767170014 0.128457276422 58% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0368584608482 0.0628817314937 59% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 15.2 14.3799401198 106% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 38.66 48.3550499002 80% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.8 12.197005988 113% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.29 12.5979740519 105% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.16 8.32208582834 110% => OK
difficult_words: 99.0 98.500998004 101% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 83.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 5.0 Out of 6 -- The score is based on the average performance of 20,000 argument essays. This e-grader is not smart enough to check on arguments.
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.