The topic is about replacing traditional paper forms by electronic medical record systems. The reading passage introduces three advantages of electronic medical system. However, the lecturer rejects each of them as uncertain to succeed.
First, the reading passage suggests that electronic medical system requires far less storage space than the traditional paper form. However, the lecturer argues that this advantage may not as significant as it mentioned in the passage and it may not save the storage space at all. Doctors still keep the paper form as the emergency backup. Consequently, they will still pay for the space of keeping paper. This is the first obvious divergence where the lecturer disagrees with the reading passage.
The second advantage presented in the reading passage is that electronic system could minimize the possibility of human error. In contrast, the lecturer states that doctors will still use paper and pens when examining patients and taking notes. It is the staff who enters those notes into the computer system afterwards. The staff still needs to interpret the doctors' handwriting. Thus, electronic system cannot eliminate human error. This is the second point where the lecturer challenges the reading passage.
Third, the reading passage shows that medical research will benefit from the electronic system since they can access the large amount of data from patient records. On the contrary, The lecturer thinks it will still be very difficult for researchers to get the data because of the strict privacy law. Even with electronic system, researchers still need to follow procedures and get permissions from the patients. Moreover, patients have the right to block the data for any purpose at any time. This is the third point the lecturer uses to clarify that the electronic medical system is still uncertain.
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Essay evaluation report
flaws:
They are not necessary, put them only when you don't have something to say for the arguments:
This is the first obvious divergence where the lecturer disagrees with the reading passage.
This is the second point where the lecturer challenges the reading passage.
This is the third point the lecturer uses to clarify that the electronic medical system is still uncertain.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 25 in 30
Category: Very Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 19 12
No. of Words: 293 250
No. of Characters: 1525 1200
No. of Different Words: 145 150
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.137 4.2
Average Word Length: 5.205 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.487 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 113 80
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 91 60
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 54 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 36 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 15.421 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.622 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.842 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.515 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.073 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4
Transition Words or Phrases used:
consequently, first, however, if, may, moreover, second, still, third, thus, in contrast, on the contrary
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 8.0 10.4613686534 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 5.04856512141 198% => OK
Conjunction : 4.0 7.30242825607 55% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 18.0 22.412803532 80% => OK
Preposition: 27.0 30.3222958057 89% => OK
Nominalization: 1.0 5.01324503311 20% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1568.0 1373.03311258 114% => OK
No of words: 293.0 270.72406181 108% => OK
Chars per words: 5.35153583618 5.08290768461 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.13729897018 4.04702891845 102% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.55583777353 2.5805825403 99% => OK
Unique words: 148.0 145.348785872 102% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.505119453925 0.540411800872 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 478.8 419.366225166 114% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.55342163355 103% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 5.0 3.25607064018 154% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.23620309051 121% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 2.5761589404 78% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 19.0 13.0662251656 145% => OK
Sentence length: 15.0 21.2450331126 71% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 32.1584546424 49.2860985944 65% => OK
Chars per sentence: 82.5263157895 110.228320801 75% => OK
Words per sentence: 15.4210526316 21.698381199 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.52631578947 7.06452816374 78% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 0.0 4.19205298013 0% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 4.33554083885 92% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 9.0 4.45695364238 202% => Less negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.27373068433 140% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.376674778159 0.272083759551 138% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.117905463709 0.0996497079465 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0976990029729 0.0662205650399 148% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.241288102008 0.162205337803 149% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0719022964235 0.0443174109184 162% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.5 13.3589403974 86% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 56.25 53.8541721854 104% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.1 11.0289183223 83% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.45 12.2367328918 110% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.26 8.42419426049 98% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 63.6247240618 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 7.5 10.7273730684 70% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.0 10.498013245 76% => OK
text_standard: 8.0 11.2008830022 71% => OK
What are above readability scores?
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Rates: 85.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.5 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.