A gift (such as a camera, a soccer ball, or an animal) can contribute to a child`s development. What gift would you give to help a child develop? Why? Use reasons and specific examples to support your choice.
Parents usually give something valuable or expensive to their children in a special moment. Some people said that it is not good, because kids may ask anything else and make it will them become spoiled and dependant to other people. But, i believe that a present such as pet, soccer ball, camera, etc, can improve kid's development.
First of all, the gift evolve the curiosity of the children. When they face a new object, kids usually want to know everything about it, what the use of it, how to operate it, how to play with it, and else. they try to find out by asking to other people who are older than them, or by searching on the internet. it will be a fresh start to make them interested in something new to expand their knowledge.
Secondly, a certain thing such as camera, computer, soccer ball, make children find a new hobby. Doing what they like can relax their mind and kids can be more creative because it can stimulate their brain.
Lastly, Once kids love their new toy, they will take care of it and will be very attached to it. it can build children's responsibility about something else other than theirselves.
In conclusion, Those benefits may give children some progress in mental, interest, and potentiality, but of course parents have to control the kids and make some rules, so that the schildren don't spend to much time with their toys.
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Sentence: Some people said that it is not good, because kids may ask anything else and make it will them become spoiled and dependant to other people.
Suggestion: Some people said that it is not good, because kids may ask anything else and it will make them spoiled and dependent to other people.
Sentence: Some people said that it is not good, because kids may ask anything else and make it will them become spoiled and dependant to other people.
Error: dependant Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Lastly, Once kids love their new toy, they will take care of it and will be very attached to it. it can build children's responsibility about something else other than theirselves.
Error: theirselves Suggestion: themselves
Sentence: In conclusion, Those benefits may give children some progress in mental, interest, and potentiality, but of course parents have to control the kids and make some rules, so that the schildren don't spend to much time with their toys.
Error: schildren Suggestion: children
flaws:
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No. of Characters: 1080 1500
No. of Different Words: 139 200
Minimum 250 words wanted.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 1 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 3 2
No. of Sentences: 9 15
No. of Words: 243 350
No. of Characters: 1080 1500
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Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 16.872 7.5
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Number of Paragraphs: 5 5