Argument Essay In recent years, Braeburn Corporation has seen lagging sales of its food products. Just a few of the many food products Braeburn sells are soy products.Soy products have been shown to reduce rates of cancer. Because people care about reducing their risk of cancer, Braeburn should increase manufacturing of soy products. This will help Braeburn Corporation improve sales and increase profits.
In first glance this argument looks reasonable but carefully scrtinizing it shows that this argument is rife with assumptions. In order to strengthen the argument, author should provide evidences.
Author should have given complete statistics of sales of various product it sell and their selling rate. if of all products, selling rate of soy is larger than other products it may strengthen the authors conclusion. But if it is not then it would weaken the authors argument, and increasing soy products will not help in improving sales and profit of braeburn corporation.
Author has not tried to understand the real problem of decrease in sales, it might be the that people does not like the taste of braeburn products. If it is so, then increasing soy product will not be able to raise the sales of braeburn food products.It might have also been possible that some other food industry also manufacture soy products and sell them in low prices in comparison to that of braeburn corporation !
that is the reason why people prefer those instead of bareburn food products. If this is the main reason then again it will weaken the authors argument.
Author assume that people care about reducing their risk of cancer so they will buy their soy food products.It might have been possible that in order to reduce their cancer risk people refer other activities like exercise or yoga. before coming to the conclusion author should take a survey asking people if they would like to have soy products in order to reduce their cancer risk or they use some other methods to reduce it. If people response is positive then authors argumentation would be strengthen and increasing soy product will increase its profit. but if response is not positive then authors argument must have been weaken . Author should also ask them in survey what kind of products they use to reduce their risk of cancer and why they do not use food products of braeburn corporation. This would help author to know the real
reasons of decrease in sales of braeburn food products.
First authorshould give evidence to show that people will prefer using soy products. Then only authors conclusion holds true otherwise increasing soy products will not help them in increasing their sales or profit.
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- Argument Essay In recent years, Braeburn Corporation has seen lagging sales of its food products. Just a few of the many food products Braeburn sells are soy products.Soy products have been shown to reduce rates of cancer. Because people care about reduci
Sentence: Author should have given complete statistics of sales of various product it sell and their selling rate. if of all products, selling rate of soy is larger than other products it may strengthen the authors conclusion.
Description: The fragment it sell and is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace sell with verb, past tense
Sentence: Author has not tried to understand the real problem of decrease in sales, it might be the that people does not like the taste of braeburn products.
Description: The tag an article is not usually followed by that
Suggestion: Refer to the and that
Sentence: In first glance this argument looks reasonable but carefully scrtinizing it shows that this argument is rife with assumptions.
Error: scrtinizing Suggestion: scrutinizing
Sentence: First authorshould give evidence to show that people will prefer using soy products.
Error: authorshould Suggestion: No alternate word
flaws:
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 382 350
No. of Characters: 1848 1500
No. of Different Words: 144 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.421 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.838 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.417 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 131 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 69 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 28 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.385 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 18.533 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.769 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.407 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.647 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.149 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5