A recently issued twenty-year study on headaches suffered by the residents of Mentia investigated the possible therapeutic effect of consuming salicylates. Salicylates are members of the same chemical family as aspirin, a medicine used to treat headaches. Although many foods are naturally rich in salicylates, food-processing companies also add salicylates to foods as preservatives. The twenty-year study found a correlation between the rise in the commercial use of salicylates and a steady decline in the average number of headaches reported by study participants. At the time when the study concluded, food-processing companies had just discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives for foods, and, as a result, many companies plan to do so. Based on these study results, some health experts predict that residents of Mentia will suffer even fewer headaches in the future.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The argument is based on the study of therapeutic effects of consuming salicylates which is members of the same chemical family as aspirin to reduce headaches. The author has also mentioned that many food-processing companies add salicylates in the food to preserve it and on the base of conclusion of study those companies have also discovered that salicylates can also be used as flavor additives in foods. Based on all these information and some experts prediction the author claims that in the future there will be less people in Mentia suffering from headaches. Though his claim may well have merit, the author presents poorly reasoned argument. Based on several questionable premises and assumptions, we cannot accept that his argument is valid. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and has some flaws.
First, the author readily assumes that salicylates, members of the same chemical family as aspirin to treat headaches, is the cause behind people of Mentia are less suffering from headaches. This statement is a stretch and not substanstiated in any way. The author has not provided any authentic reports of consuming Salicylates as a treatment of headaches. Moreover, the author did not show any supplement facts researched by pharmaceutical scientinsts. Clearly, the argument would have been much more clearer if the author has explicitly stated that scientists have done research on Salicylates to be used by people in treating headaches.
Second, the author claims that twenty-year study concluded the corelation between the use of salicylates and reduced number of headaches reported by study participants, which is unconvincing and weak. The author did not present some facts related to this study such as how many participants were there to experiment and the what was the age of all participants and they were younger or older. Because it is possible that younger people suffer very less from headaches and they have investigated only younger ones. If the author had provided such evidences then it would be lot more convincing.
Third, on the basis of study the author claims that some health experts predict that if the food-processing companies will use Salicylates in the food then residents of Mentia will suffer less from headaches in the future. The author weakens his point by making an assumption. Here, the author have used ambiguous words such as 'some' and 'predict'. He did not provided the information that how many health expert are are convinced with this fact becuase some can be 4 or 5 from 50 experts. Moreover, the experts just predict but they are not sure about that point. Furthermore, the author did not mentioned any side effects of consuming more Salicylates in food on daily basis. Hence, it is recommended for the author to show related facts from the experts.
In sum, the argument is unconvincing and deeply flawed. If the author wants to change reader's mind about the issue then he should have mentioned all the relevant facts and show some evidences or proofs or details which can prove his points. Without this his argument is likely to convince few people.
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Sentence: The argument is based on the study of therapeutic effects of consuming salicylates which is members of the same chemical family as aspirin to reduce headaches.
Description: The token is is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to is and members
Sentence: The author did not present some facts related to this study such as how many participants were there to experiment and the what was the age of all participants and they were younger or older.
Description: The token the is not usually followed by a WH-determiner
Suggestion: Refer to the and what
Sentence: If the author had provided such evidences then it would be lot more convincing.
Description: The word lot is not usually used as a qualifier, pre
Suggestion: Refer to lot
Sentence: He did not provided the information that how many health expert are are convinced with this fact becuase some can be 4 or 5 from 50 experts.
Description: The fragment not provided the is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace provided with verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Description: The fragment health expert are is not usually followed by are
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace are with is
Sentence: This statement is a stretch and not substanstiated in any way.
Error: substanstiated Suggestion: substantiated
Sentence: Moreover, the author did not show any supplement facts researched by pharmaceutical scientinsts.
Error: scientinsts Suggestion: scientists
Sentence: Second, the author claims that twenty-year study concluded the corelation between the use of salicylates and reduced number of headaches reported by study participants, which is unconvincing and weak.
Error: corelation Suggestion: correlation
Sentence: He did not provided the information that how many health expert are are convinced with this fact becuase some can be 4 or 5 from 50 experts.
Error: becuase Suggestion: because
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 5 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 509 350
No. of Characters: 2550 1500
No. of Different Words: 214 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.75 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.01 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.752 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 183 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 129 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 95 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 70 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.36 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.789 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.6 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.332 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.502 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5