The graph below shows the quantities of goods transportation in UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The grid provides the number of stuff transported in British from 1974 to 2002 by four kinds of transportation.
Overall, the goods traveled by three kinds of transportation increased during 28 years and one type show no improvement.
Start from 1974 to 2002, the stuff traveled by road rose dramatically, even though flow fluctuated. Similar with transported by land way, the thing moved by water vehicle incline steadily. However stable at middle years, 1982 to 1994. In the other hand, distribute by pipeline inclined since in 1974 to 1994 and then remained stable to 2002, not slowing down during 28 years. Totally different with by railway that show stable in the four years at the first time, then declined steadily until 1985s, although they recovered slightly toward 1988s. After that leveled until between 1990 and 1994, and decrease suddenly until 1995s, but turn up sharply onwards to same level when they started.
In summary, the stuff distribution by all tools of transport increase at the last years surveyed.
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Thank you for your suggestion. I will try editing my essay base on your advice.
Sentence: Overall, the goods traveled by three kinds of transportation increased during 28 years and one type show no improvement.
Description: The fragment type show no is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace show with verb, past tense
Sentence: In the other hand, distribute by pipeline inclined since in 1974 to 1994 and then remained stable to 2002, not slowing down during 28 years.
Description: The fragment , distribute by is rare
Suggestion: Possible agreement error: Replace distribute with verb, past participle
flaw:
Not organized well.
better like this:
para 1: introduction
para 2: body 1
para 3: body 2
para 4: conclusion
sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graph-below-gives-information-about…
or
para 1: introduction
para 2: conclusion
para 3: body 1
para 4: body 2
sample:
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/climograph-below-shows-average-mont…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/graphs-below-show-types-music-album…
http://www.testbig.com/ielts-essays/table-below-gives-information-about…
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 6.0 out of 9
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 2 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 9 10
No. of Words: 168 200
No. of Characters: 833 1000
No. of Different Words: 107 100
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 3.6 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.958 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.525 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 52 60
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 43 50
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 28 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 13 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.667 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.657 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.402 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.636 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 4