The following appeared in a memo from New Ventures Consulting to the president of HobCo, Inc., a chain of hobby shops.
"Our team has completed its research on suitable building sites for a new HobCo hobby Shop in the city of Grilldon. We discovered that there are currently no hobby shops in southeastern Grilldon. When our researchers conducted a poll of area residents, 88 percent of those who responded indicated that they would welcome the opening of a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade. In addition, Grilldon has a very large population of retirees, a demographic with ample time to devote to hobbies. We therefore recommend that you choose southeastern Grilldon as the site for your next HobCo Hobby Shop. We predict that a shop in this area will draw a steady stream of enthusiastic new HobCo customers."
The memo contains a spurious claim which states that the opening of a new hobby shop in South-Eastern Grilldon would rake in profits for the Hobco chain of hobby shops. Though some of its argument may seem plausible, a cautious peruse would bring out the fallacies and assumptions the consultancy has incorporated while drafting the memo.
Firstly, let us take into account the survey conducted by the New Ventures Consulting, which states that 88 percent of people who "responded" would welcome the opening of a new hobby store. We should know the answer, demographically, to whether these people who are surveyed are concentrated in a specific region of southeastern Grilldon or are scattered throughout the entire region. If the surveyed people are uniformly distributed over the entire area, then only we can begin to proclaim the veracity of the survey; otherwise, the surveyed people may be only a concentrated bunch of people and want a hobby store as they may have no source for a hobby exclusively in their vicinity. Thus, it may be misleading for Hobco, as the only customers to the new store would be these bunch of people. In addition to it, we also need to ask the number of people who have been surveyed, as to determine whether these many people would be sufficient to earn a profit, which surpasses the monetary investment needed to build a new store.
Even if we assume the survey to be an accurate representation of the people of southeastern Grilldon, we move on to the next statistics that has been mentioned which implies that the hobby business has grown by 300 percent in Grilldon. Questions need to be answered on what categorizes as "hobby business" and only if this categorization matches with the same interests as the Hobco, Inc. , only then it would be feasible to consider these statistics.
Probably, the most important answer needed is which part of Grilldon is being mentioned or which part of Grilldon has the highest growth and which has the least. It is also uncertain whether the number "300 percent" is an average of all regions in Grilldon or the highest spike observed in one specific region of Grilldon. It will be highly misleading if a new store is sanctioned based on this statistic, which actually pointed to surge in hobby business in say, northwestern Grilldon.
Similar questions may be asked regarding the next conclusion, which states that Grilldon comprises of "retirees" and would have "ample time to devote to hobbies". Questions need to be asked regarding which specific regions are these retirees living in abundance. It may be possible that the region having the maximum increase in "hobby business" might be native to these "retirees", leaving out the need for a hobby shop in southeastern Grilldon. Also, we need an answer whether these retirees might be willing to invest their time in the hobbies provided by the Hobco hobby shop.
Finally, one of the most important question that needs to be answered is why wasn't any hobby shop built yet in the southeastern region of Grilldon. We have seen that there is a 300 percent increase in hobby business atleast in some parts of Grilldon, so why not a single hobby shop has been opened in southeastern Grillson yet? It might be possible that due to its isolated nature, no hobby ventures found it feasible to build a shop in this region. It might be possible that there is a rule prevalent in this region restricting some hobby practices or it may be possible that the property rates in this region, would be higher than other regions for building a shop. This vital question needs to be primarily asked by the Hobco chain. Thus, the above questions are mandatory to be asked, otherwise it would be dangerous to invest in the new Hobco shop based on the facts mentioned in the memo.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2019-07-26 | Ghader | 100 | view |
| 2018-12-06 | jalab | 41 | view |
| 2018-11-26 | samaslan | 35 | view |
| 2018-09-24 | emrekurtoglu | 28 | view |
| 2018-09-22 | Cyclic Order | 72 | view |
Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK. 'welcome the opening of a hobby shop' is not equal to 'shop in the hobby shop '
argument 2 -- not OK.
argument 3 -- not OK.
Grilldon is in a region of the nation in which the hobby business has increased by 300 percent during the past decade.
correct arguments:
maybe Grilldon is different to other region of the nation.
argument 4 -- OK
argument 5 -- OK
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 650 350
No. of Characters: 3068 1500
No. of Different Words: 245 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.049 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.72 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.636 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 205 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 155 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 124 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 29.545 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.774 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.773 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.351 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.592 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.197 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 6 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 5, column 400, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...th the same interests as the Hobco, Inc. , only then it would be feasible to consi...
^^
Line 8, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...usiness in say, northwestern Grilldon. Similar questions may be asked regardin...
^^^
Line 9, column 91, Rule ID: COMPRISES_OF[1]
Message: Did you mean 'comprises' or 'consists of'?
Suggestion: comprises; consists of
... conclusion, which states that Grilldon comprises of 'retirees' and would have &ap...
^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 11, column 79, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: wasn't
...estion that needs to be answered is why wasnt any hobby shop built yet in the southea...
^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
actually, also, but, finally, first, firstly, if, may, regarding, so, then, thus, while, as to, in addition
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 39.0 19.6327345309 199% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 28.0 12.9520958084 216% => Less auxiliary verb wanted.
Conjunction : 11.0 11.1786427146 98% => OK
Relative clauses : 24.0 13.6137724551 176% => OK
Pronoun: 48.0 28.8173652695 167% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 83.0 55.5748502994 149% => OK
Nominalization: 8.0 16.3942115768 49% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3224.0 2260.96107784 143% => OK
No of words: 649.0 441.139720559 147% => Less content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.96764252696 5.12650576532 97% => OK
Fourth root words length: 5.04732388556 4.56307096286 111% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.99960391863 2.78398813304 108% => OK
Unique words: 261.0 204.123752495 128% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.402157164869 0.468620217663 86% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 994.5 705.55239521 141% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 12.0 4.96107784431 242% => Less pronouns wanted as sentence beginning.
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 2.0 1.67365269461 119% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 23.0 19.7664670659 116% => OK
Sentence length: 28.0 22.8473053892 123% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 53.3339516347 57.8364921388 92% => OK
Chars per sentence: 140.173913043 119.503703932 117% => OK
Words per sentence: 28.2173913043 23.324526521 121% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.65217391304 5.70786347227 82% => OK
Paragraphs: 6.0 5.15768463074 116% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.20758483034 122% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 8.0 6.88822355289 116% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 5.0 4.67664670659 107% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.266239588806 0.218282227539 122% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.103519631081 0.0743258471296 139% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0657991041447 0.0701772020484 94% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.174558246735 0.128457276422 136% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.048730569854 0.0628817314937 77% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.1 14.3799401198 112% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 51.52 48.3550499002 107% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.0 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.84 12.5979740519 94% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.29 8.32208582834 100% => OK
difficult_words: 134.0 98.500998004 136% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 13.2 11.1389221557 119% => OK
text_standard: 14.0 11.9071856287 118% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Write the essay in 30 minutes.
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.