The following appeared in a memo from the vice president of a company that builds shopping malls around the country.
"The surface of a section of Route 101, paved just two years ago by Good Intentions Roadways, is now badly cracked with a number of dangerous potholes. In another part of the state, a section of Route 40, paved by Appian Roadways more than four years ago, is still in good condition. In a demonstration of their continuing commitment to quality, Appian Roadways recently purchased state-of-the-art paving machinery and hired a new quality-control manager. Therefore, I recommend hiring Appian Roadways to construct the access roads for all our new shopping malls. I predict that our Appian access roads will not have to be repaired for at least four years."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation is likely to have the predicted result. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
In the memo, the vice president concludes that Appin Roadways is superior than Good Intentions Roadways based on the comparison between their previous programs as well as consideration of the equipment update and newly hired control manager of Appin Roadways. Thus he suggests the construction program of access road for new shopping malls should be assigned to Appin Roadways instead of Good Intentions Roadways in order to attain longer duration. Although the vice president takes the company's historical records as reference, there are still some questions needing resolving before Appin Roadways is hired. These questions not noticed or answered would inevitably undermine the credibility of the suggestion.
First and foremost, the superiority of the two companies is not clearly enough before the vice presidents provide more details about their previous programs. For example, the vice president should consider whether the guaranteed period of each road has been achieved. Because if the answer is no and each company has attained the designed target period respectively, then then Appin Roadways is no better than Good Intentions Roadways. However, even the answer is yes, there is still another question. Apparently, Road 101 is different from Road 40, therefore a comparison between constructions on these two road without involving the characteristics like car weight and currency is untenable, because car weight and currency can significantly influence the condition of the road, which means the vice president should answer whether these conditions mentioned are identical or not. If the answer is no, then the comparison is not convincing to uphold the conclusion.
In addition, the author also mentions that Appin Roadways recently purchased state-of-art paving machinery and hired a new quality control manager. However, we have no idea of if the same or similar update has been accomplished by Good Intentions Roadways or other potential construction companies. If the adjustment of Appin Roadways is just a routine update of the whole industry, then the new machinery and manager could not help justify the superiority of Appin Roadways over any other construction companies. Even if the adjustment is solely an achievement of Appin Roadways, the author need answer the adjustment guarantees better road duration, for which the vice president need provide information about Appin Roadways's programs after the adjustment. If the adjustment couldn't guarantee longer duration like a period more than four years, the vice president is culpable for overstating the performance the company. But is the answer is yes, the suggestion can sustain certain suspect.
Finally, the new program is to construct access roads for shopping malls. Apparently, the vice president should make it clear whether the new program is suitable for Appin Roadways, even though we have acceded the ability of Appin Roadways. If not, then the vice president should glean for other options. However, if the answer is yes, the suggestion is not cogent for not including the budget and other potential companies. If there are other companies offering more economical plans, then the suggestion is flawed for omitting potential alternatives.
All in all, the vice president should validate the comparison between the two companies and offer more information about other companies. A convincing and objective comparison would build up the credibility basis of the forthcoming suggestion. Moreover, more comprehensive and detailed information of other potential competitors could help persuade more people in to the president's suggestion. Therefore, the vice president need to consider and answer the questions mentioned above so as to shore up the suggestion.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not exactly, need to argue against the conclusion:
Therefore, I recommend hiring Appian Roadways to construct the access roads for all our new shopping malls. I predict that our Appian access roads will not have to be repaired for at least four years.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 575 350
No. of Characters: 3117 1500
No. of Different Words: 239 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.897 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.421 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.861 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 244 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 200 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 157 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 106 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 23 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 10.233 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.88 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.331 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.508 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.131 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 75, Rule ID: SUPERIOR_THAN[1]
Message: The adjective superior is normally used with 'to'.
Suggestion: to
...ncludes that Appin Roadways is superior than Good Intentions Roadways based on the c...
^^^^
Line 1, column 261, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...ired control manager of Appin Roadways. Thus he suggests the construction program of...
^^^^
Line 3, column 294, Rule ID: NOW[2]
Message: Did you mean 'now' (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
Suggestion: now
...been achieved. Because if the answer is no and each company has attained the desig...
^^
Line 3, column 368, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a word
Suggestion: then
...he designed target period respectively, then then Appin Roadways is no better than Good I...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 943, Rule ID: ALLOW_TO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'upholding'? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'convince' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
Suggestion: upholding
..., then the comparison is not convincing to uphold the conclusion. In addition, the aut...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 778, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: couldn't
...after the adjustment. If the adjustment couldnt guarantee longer duration like a period...
^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 372, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'presidents'' or 'president's'?
Suggestion: presidents'; president's
...uld help persuade more people in to the presidents suggestion. Therefore, the vice preside...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 9, column 483, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
...nd answer the questions mentioned above so as to shore up the suggestion.
^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, apparently, but, finally, first, however, if, moreover, so, still, then, therefore, thus, well, as to, for example, in addition, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 12.9520958084 116% => OK
Conjunction : 17.0 11.1786427146 152% => OK
Relative clauses : 4.0 13.6137724551 29% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 11.0 28.8173652695 38% => OK
Preposition: 49.0 55.5748502994 88% => OK
Nominalization: 30.0 16.3942115768 183% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 3184.0 2260.96107784 141% => OK
No of words: 574.0 441.139720559 130% => OK
Chars per words: 5.54703832753 5.12650576532 108% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.89472135074 4.56307096286 107% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.92570286936 2.78398813304 105% => OK
Unique words: 245.0 204.123752495 120% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.426829268293 0.468620217663 91% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 979.2 705.55239521 139% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 11.0 2.70958083832 406% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 2.0 4.22255489022 47% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 25.0 19.7664670659 126% => OK
Sentence length: 22.0 22.8473053892 96% => OK
Sentence length SD: 69.3493878848 57.8364921388 120% => OK
Chars per sentence: 127.36 119.503703932 107% => OK
Words per sentence: 22.96 23.324526521 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.8 5.70786347227 102% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 8.0 5.25449101796 152% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 6.88822355289 29% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 6.0 4.67664670659 128% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.142684301333 0.218282227539 65% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0443794869626 0.0743258471296 60% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.032089393933 0.0701772020484 46% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0905751547962 0.128457276422 71% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.02080577721 0.0628817314937 33% => Paragraphs are similar to each other. Some content may get duplicated or it is not exactly right on the topic.
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 16.2 14.3799401198 113% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 40.69 48.3550499002 84% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 13.1 12.197005988 107% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 15.21 12.5979740519 121% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.5 8.32208582834 102% => OK
difficult_words: 137.0 98.500998004 139% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.8 11.1389221557 97% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.