TPO-46 - Integrated Writing Task In the United States, medical information about patients traditionally has been recorded and stored on paper forms. However, there are efforts to persuade doctors to adopt electronic medical record systems in which informa

Both article and lecture talk about using electronic database in other to storing the patients' medical records. The author provides three advantages to support. However, the professor refutes each of the author's reasons.

First, the reading claim that electronic medical record systems can reduce the cost through diminish the cost of storing and transferring medical records. However, the professor argues that this reduction in cost doesn't happen because many doctor who adopt the new system keep their mecidal records for emergancy time. Therfore, this system imposes more cost to the hospitals and other medical places.

Second, the reading passage says that since the electeranic system has a standard form and legible font, the number errors from misconception of illegible handwriting will reduce significantly. The professor counters this point by stating that even after the adoption with this system, most doctors use pen or pencil to take a note and the stuff who are responsible to entre this information to the computer may be face with illegible handwriting. Hence, the stuff misinterperetation can be cause a lot of serious consequences.

Third, the reading make the argumantation that electeronic medical record can produce a lot of helpful database for someone who research in medical fields. The professor refutes this claim by pointing out that even if this data base become availabe through electronic system, people will face to the privacy law of united stated in which reachers have to proceed a lot of procedures to get an access. In addition, this access can easily blocked by patients.

Votes
Average: 8.3 (1 vote)
Essay Categories
Essays by the user:

Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 214, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...ssor argues that this reduction in cost doesnt happen because many doctor who adopt th...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 236, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun doctor seems to be countable; consider using: 'many doctors'.
Suggestion: many doctors
...reduction in cost doesnt happen because many doctor who adopt the new system keep their mec...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 489, Rule ID: BE_CAUSE[1]
Message: Did you mean 'because'?
Suggestion: because
...Hence, the stuff misinterperetation can be cause a lot of serious consequences. Thir...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 391, Rule ID: A_UNCOUNTABLE[1]
Message: Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply 'access'.
Suggestion: access
...e to proceed a lot of procedures to get an access. In addition, this access can easily bl...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 438, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: 'block'
Suggestion: block
...ss. In addition, this access can easily blocked by patients.
^^^^^^^

Transition Words or Phrases used:
first, hence, however, if, may, second, so, third, in addition

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 3.0 10.4613686534 29% => More to be verbs wanted.
Auxiliary verbs: 7.0 5.04856512141 139% => OK
Conjunction : 6.0 7.30242825607 82% => OK
Relative clauses : 10.0 12.0772626932 83% => OK
Pronoun: 15.0 22.412803532 67% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 30.3222958057 109% => OK
Nominalization: 7.0 5.01324503311 140% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1370.0 1373.03311258 100% => OK
No of words: 255.0 270.72406181 94% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.37254901961 5.08290768461 106% => OK
Fourth root words length: 3.99608801488 4.04702891845 99% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.760026634 2.5805825403 107% => OK
Unique words: 151.0 145.348785872 104% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.592156862745 0.540411800872 110% => OK
syllable_count: 424.8 419.366225166 101% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.55342163355 109% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 3.25607064018 61% => OK
Article: 10.0 8.23620309051 121% => OK
Subordination: 0.0 1.25165562914 0% => More adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 0.0 1.51434878587 0% => OK
Preposition: 1.0 2.5761589404 39% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 12.0 13.0662251656 92% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 21.2450331126 99% => OK
Sentence length SD: 68.7852434918 49.2860985944 140% => OK
Chars per sentence: 114.166666667 110.228320801 104% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.25 21.698381199 98% => OK
Discourse Markers: 5.16666666667 7.06452816374 73% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 4.09492273731 98% => OK
Language errors: 5.0 4.19205298013 119% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 5.0 4.33554083885 115% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 4.0 4.45695364238 90% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.27373068433 70% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.403033345958 0.272083759551 148% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.134466623026 0.0996497079465 135% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.120769438753 0.0662205650399 182% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.228868113012 0.162205337803 141% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0892292167469 0.0443174109184 201% => More connections among paragraphs wanted.

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.5 13.3589403974 109% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 41.7 53.8541721854 77% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 5.55761589404 158% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 12.7 11.0289183223 115% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.87 12.2367328918 113% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.14 8.42419426049 108% => OK
difficult_words: 72.0 63.6247240618 113% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 10.7273730684 61% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 10.498013245 99% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.2008830022 80% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 83.3333333333 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 25.0 Out of 30
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.