Mobile phones and the internet are very useful.However,its rare for the old people to use them.In what ways can mobile phone and the internet be useful to the old people?what could be done to encourage the old people to use mobile phone and internet.
Globalization acts to support development technology which has positive effects for education system,social application and politic.It can create a new era which will chance a traditional era in the world.Some of globalization effects in technology are mobile phones and internet. Some people believe that mobile phone and internet are particularly important in their life. While I argue that some of them cannot use mobile phones and internet.
A lot of people in the world know how to use mobile phones and internet.Especially for young people in the world,they are always following globalization era,but for elders feel difficult to use them.Old people cannot use mobile phones and internet because they do not have many time to learn about internet and mobile phones,sometimes if they have free time,they will give their free time to their children.Adult cannot use internet and mobile phones because they do not have high education and any time to up date about new technology.
To give solution about this problem,government can give facilities which have power to develop elders skill for helping their work.Beside,to support elders learn about internet and mobile phones which have easy method that is used by old people.For example,to create application mobile phones which is simple application and it can make easy for old people to use mobile phones and internet.And they can ask young people to help them to understand how to use mobile phones and internet,when they have free time.
In conclusion,the mobile phones and internet have a lot of benefits and they have ways to finish people problems.So,old people can use mobile phones and internet very well for getting information with easy and making communication with easy.
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Sentence: It can make a new era which can chances a traditional era in the world.
Description: A modal auxillary is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to can and chances
Sentence: To give solution about this problem, government can give facilities which has skills to develop skills elders for helping their worked.
Description: A noun, plural, common is not usually followed by a noun, plural, common
Suggestion: Refer to skills and elders
Sentence: For example, with create application mobile phones which simple application and it can make easy to old people to use mobiles phones and internet.
Description: A preposition is not usually followed by a verb, base: uninflected present, imperative or infinitive
Suggestion: Refer to with and create
flaws:
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Different Words: 113 200
Read a good grammar book.
Always put a space after punctuation marks. E-rater is sensitive.
Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 5.0 out of 9
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 3 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 13 15
No. of Words: 266 350
No. of Characters: 1288 1500
No. of Different Words: 113 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.039 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.842 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.472 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 97 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 52 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 38 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 24 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 20.462 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.046 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.385 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.475 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.646 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.235 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5