The following appeared as part of an article in a magazine devoted to regional life:
“Corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location. Even in the recent recession, Helios’s unemployment rate was lower than the regional average. It is the industrial center of the region, and historically it has provided more than its share of the region’s manufacturing jobs. In addition, Helios is attempting to expand its economic base by attracting companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies.”
Discuss how well reasoned . . . etc.
The writer of the article in a magazine devoted to regional life asserts that the corporations should look into Helios city when they are seeking new business opportunities or a new location.He substantiates this claim by stating several factors such as the lower unemployment rate of the Helios city in comparison to the regional unemployment average, the city being an industrial centre and trying up all tactics too attract the companies that focus on research and development of innovative technologies. At first glance, the argument seems to be fairly coherent and convincing. However, upon closer examination, a number of faults come into light ,rendering the argument wholly unpersuasive.
The primary pitfall of the argument is that the author has not provided any facts and real numbers to back up his claim on the lower unemployment rate of the city Helios in comparison to the regional unemployment average. There is high plausibility that the difference is not much high to make such a high claim. For instance, a .01 % difference and 10 % difference between the two compared entities will better help judge the current economic scenario of the city Helios with the other cities surrounding it.Moreover, it would also help strengthen the assertion that Helios in the best city to move and set up a business.
Furthermore, the major characteristic as described by the writer about the city Helios is its history of large manufacturing jobs and the city currently being an industrial area. But, while making his argument the writer generalises the place to be good for all types of businesses. Precisely, he assumes that since the manufacturing and industrial hub this city is, will make it viable for all other business such as the software industry or other tertiary sector services to work there too, which is incorrect. Also, if the tertiary sector is to work there, how much demand does the population make up there. Will it be enough to sustain the new business coming up there inspite of the old business still working there. Hence, a detailed and proper information and statistics regarding the markets and the business viability needs to be provided.
Going forward, the writer adds information of the city Helios trying to attract more companies that are focused on research and development of innovative technologies.However, he fails to mention, how exactly will the city Helios attempt to do this.What all policies are being applied to make Helios attraction for such companies.In short, a more in depth information regarding such policies need to be discussed here.
In a nutshell, the argument provided by the writer that corporations should look to the city of Helios when seeking new business opportunities or a new location is not compelling enough. If he wants to convince the readers regarding the same, he should provide exact data to back up his claim regarding the lower unemployment rate, a thorough analyses of the market and competition going on there and detailed information of the policies incorporated by the city of Helios to attract certain type of companies.
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argument 1 -- not OK. In GMAT, we always accept the data provided are correct, no matter it is 0.1% or 10%. The correct argument is: maybe the regional average has already been pretty low compared to other regions.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- not OK. it is not related to policies. The correct argument is:
maybe the city is not the right place for research and development of innovative technologies. for example, the city is an industrial city. there are even no any universities in this city.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 2.5 out of 6
Category: Poor Excellent
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No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 511 350
No. of Characters: 2545 1500
No. of Different Words: 226 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.755 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.98 4.6
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No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 142 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 106 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
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Sentence Length SD: 21.114 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.812 0.12
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Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.542 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5