In general, people are not as concerned as they were a decade ago about regulating their intake of red meat and fatty cheeses. Walk into the Heart's Delight, a store that started selling organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours in the 1960's, and you will also find a wide selection of cheeses made with high butterfat content. Next door, the owners of the Good Earth Cafe, an old vegetarian restaurant, are still making a modest living, but the owners of the new House of Beef across the street are millionaires.
The author concludes that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago. The author's lines of reasoning is that the Hear's Delight, which is an organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours store in the 1960's now sell various cheeses that made with high butterfat content, and that the fact that while the owners of the old vegetarian restuarant like the Good Earth Cafe is not wealthy, the owners of the new House of Beef are millionaires indicates that people consume more red meat than healthy food. This argument is based upon serveral questionable assumptions and thus logically unpersuasive for several reasons. In this essay, I will discuss reasons and examples to support my viewpoint.
To begin with, the author's conclusion that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago is based on questionable assumption that the Hear's Delight, which is an organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours store in the 1960's now sell various cheeses that made with high butterfat content. However, the fact that a certain organic store sell the non-organic product cannot be interpreted that consumers are more likely to purchase such products. In many marketing strategy, such as cross-selling or bundle sell, the products owner need to put as many as products at retails stores' shelves in order to pursue the customers to buy more. In this case, it's possible that the organic cheese producers want to display fatty cheese to create increasing sales in their organic cheeses. Moreover, sales of such fatty cheese is not the representative of people's consumptions. Thus it seems illogical to conclude that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago.
Moreover, in order to conclude that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago, the author assumes that the fact that while the owners of the old vegetarian restuarant like the Good Earth Cafe is not wealthy, the owners of the new House of Beef are millionaires indicates that people consume more red meat than healthy food. However, the financial status of each business owner is irrelavant to the customer's consumptions. Since the business owners gain wealth by maximizing their profit, which is consist of revenue and cost, they can either increase the revenue or lower the cost. In the first case, increasing the revenue, the business owners can do several things to achieve that target. For example, the high-end car manufacturer reach the same amount of its revenue as the low cost car company by selling 1000% fewer car than the low cost car company, because the price per unit is extremely high. Furthermore, the business owners can squeeze their cost by differents strategy. Therefore, this assumption is unreasonable, and the author's conclusion, in the absence of further evidence, is severely weakened as a result.
In conclusion, to convince me that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago, the author would have to provide the evidence that the Hear's Delight, which is an organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours store in the 1960's now sell various cheeses that made with high butterfat content, and that the fact that while the owners of the old vegetarian restuarant like the Good Earth Cafe is not wealthy, the owners of the new House of Beef are millionaires indicates that people consume more red meat than healthy food. In the absence of this information, the author's conclusion is untenable, and I am not convinced that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago.
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Sentence: The author concludes that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago.
Error: controling Suggestion: controlling
Sentence: The author's lines of reasoning is that the Hear's Delight, which is an organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours store in the 1960's now sell various cheeses that made with high butterfat content, and that the fact that while the owners of the old vegetarian restuarant like the Good Earth Cafe is not wealthy, the owners of the new House of Beef are millionaires indicates that people consume more red meat than healthy food.
Error: restuarant Suggestion: restaurant
Sentence: This argument is based upon serveral questionable assumptions and thus logically unpersuasive for several reasons.
Error: serveral Suggestion: several
Sentence: To begin with, the author's conclusion that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago is based on questionable assumption that the Hear's Delight, which is an organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours store in the 1960's now sell various cheeses that made with high butterfat content.
Error: controling Suggestion: controlling
Sentence: Thus it seems illogical to conclude that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago.
Error: controling Suggestion: controlling
Sentence: Moreover, in order to conclude that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago, the author assumes that the fact that while the owners of the old vegetarian restuarant like the Good Earth Cafe is not wealthy, the owners of the new House of Beef are millionaires indicates that people consume more red meat than healthy food.
Error: restuarant Suggestion: restaurant
Error: controling Suggestion: controlling
Sentence: However, the financial status of each business owner is irrelavant to the customer's consumptions.
Error: irrelavant Suggestion: irrelevant
Sentence: Furthermore, the business owners can squeeze their cost by differents strategy.
Error: differents Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In conclusion, to convince me that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago, the author would have to provide the evidence that the Hear's Delight, which is an organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours store in the 1960's now sell various cheeses that made with high butterfat content, and that the fact that while the owners of the old vegetarian restuarant like the Good Earth Cafe is not wealthy,
Error: restuarant Suggestion: restaurant
Error: controling Suggestion: controlling
Sentence: In the absence of this information, the author's conclusion is untenable, and I am not convinced that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago.
Error: controling Suggestion: controlling
flaws:
No. of Words: 651 350 //it is wordy for some contents, look:
To begin with, the author's conclusion that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago is based on questionable assumption that the Hear's Delight, which is an organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours store in the 1960's now sell various cheeses that made with high butterfat content.
Moreover, in order to conclude that nowadays consumers are not as concerned about controling their red meat and fatty cheeses consumptions as they were a decade ago, the author assumes that the fact that while the owners of the old vegetarian restuarant like the Good Earth Cafe is not wealthy, the owners of the new House of Beef are millionaires indicates that people consume more red meat than healthy food.
...the author would have to provide the evidence that the Hear's Delight, which is an organic fruits and vegetables and whole-grain flours store in the 1960's now sell various cheeses that made with high butterfat content, and that the fact that while the owners of the old vegetarian restuarant like the Good Earth Cafe is not wealthy, the owners of the new House of Beef are millionaires indicates that people consume more red meat than healthy food.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 10 2
No. of Sentences: 20 15
No. of Words: 651 350
No. of Characters: 3275 1500
No. of Different Words: 211 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 5.051 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.031 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.682 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 235 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 185 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 121 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 85 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 32.55 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 21.653 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.7 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.362 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.489 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.095 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5