50 An ancient, traditional remedy for insomnia—the scent of lavender flowers—has now been proved effective. In a recent study, 30 volunteers with chronic insomnia slept each night for three weeks on lavender-scented pillows in a controlled room where their sleep was monitored electronically. During the first week, volunteers continued to take their usual sleeping medication. They slept soundly but wakened feeling tired. At the beginning of the second week, the volunteers discontinued their sleeping medication. During that week, they slept less soundly than the previous week and felt even more tired. During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks. Therefore, the study proves that lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time.
The author asserts that the three week experiment shows that lavender cures insomnia within a short period of time. This argument seems plausible at the first glance, however, a close scrutiny reveals its untenability.
At the first, this experiment lacks a controlled group, in which the volunteers who are also with chronic insomnia do the same things during three weeks as other 30 volunteers but without the lavender-scented pillows. The researchers cannot conclude the effect of lavender without comparison, because they cannot preclude the irrelevent factors which may influence the outcome of experiment.
Secondly, during the second week, the volunteers slept less soundly even though they slept with lavender-scented pillows. It is reasonable to infer that the lack of sleeping medication caused their less soundly sleep and more tired attitude. If the scent of lavender is effective in curing insomnia, the volunteers should not have performance of insomnia because they sleep with the lavender scented pillows. Comparing the performance of vonluteers of these two weeks, the only thing we can conclude is that the sleeping medication has a better effect on curing insomnia than lavender scent.
Finally, although the volunteers slept longer and more soundly in the third week, the author does not prove whether this performance is due to the existence of lavender scent. To prove that the lavender-scent pillow is the only factor has a positive effect on sleep, the author should preclude other factors which may also influence the outcome of experiments. Furthermore, if the lavender-scent pillow is the only reason improves sleep quality of volunteers, the lavender cannot cure insomnia in a short period of time, for the reason that it does not improve the sleep quality in the first two weeks due to the experiment.
In conclusion, the author fails to prove that lavender can cure the insomnia in a short period of time, at least bases on this argument. To make the argument more persuasive, the author should add a controlled group in this experiment. Additionally, other factors which have an effect on sleep, should be considered before the conclusion is made.
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Sentence: The researchers cannot conclude the effect of lavender without comparison, because they cannot preclude the irrelevent factors which may influence the outcome of experiment.
Error: irrelevent Suggestion: irrelevant
Sentence: Comparing the performance of vonluteers of these two weeks, the only thing we can conclude is that the sleeping medication has a better effect on curing insomnia than lavender scent.
Error: vonluteers Suggestion: volunteers
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- not OK. how do you think During the third week, the volunteers slept longer and more soundly than in the previous two weeks?
argument 3 -- suggested: The arguer fails to provide complete statistics regarding the volunteers’ sleep experience, such as the exact hours of sleep each week and their feeling after awakening during the third week.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 2 2
No. of Sentences: 14 15
No. of Words: 348 350
No. of Characters: 1793 1500
No. of Different Words: 150 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.319 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.152 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.767 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 133 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 96 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 71 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 24.857 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 8.184 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.643 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.399 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.642 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.126 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5