Argument Topic: The following appears in a letter to the editor for the West Lansburg News:
"The tufted groundhog lives in the coastal wetlands of West Lansburg. Ancient records suggest that the tufted groundhog once numbered in the millions. Since they were declared a wildlife sanctuary in 2004, development along the coastal wetlands has been prohibited. Now local development interests are lobbying for the West Lansburg council to allow an access road to be built along the edge of wetlands. Neighboring Eastern Carpenteria, which had a similar sanctuary, has seen its sea otter population decline since the repeal of its sanctuary status in 1978. In order to preserve the region's biodiversity and ensure a healthy environment, the West Lansburg council should not allow the road to be built."
The author of this letter is suggesting the council to not build road in the coastal wetlands of West Lansburg.The author supports his argument by taking help of the records which suggested that tufted groundhogs were once numbered in millions.He reinforces his claim by suggesting that a similar sanctuary saw a decline in their wildlife population once the sanctuary status was repealed. Thus in order to preserve West Lansburg's sanctuary status, the author claims that no road should be built. The author rests on a series of unsubstantiating assumptions, which render the argument unconvincing.
Firstly, the author is trying to compare the situation with a neighbouring sanctuary i.e Eastern Carpenteria where a similar construction activity caused a decline in sea otter population.However the author misses the fact that these two sanctuary might not share the same conditions like the area of land , the size , otter population and steps taken to preserve the sanctuary.Moreover the author should have mentioned some statistical evidence which shows some kind of similarity between the two sanctuaries. Since the author makes an analogy between two sanctuaries without taking the above factors into consideration his argument about not constructing roads becomes very weak .
Secondly,the author cites the population of groundhogs to be roughly around a million in 2004 and is worried whether the construction will lead to decrease in tufted groundhog population.The author is forgetting that the decrease in population could also be because of a myriad of other factors like improper environmental conditions, death ,hunting, sudden climate change.The development of roads is not a factor which is strong enough to prove the author point.
Finally, the regions biodiversity and healthy environment are also the points which author makes to support his argument.However,the regions biodiversity and healthy environment can be maintained by reducing deforestation and increasing greenary.This would make the wildlife flourish even more than before and make the air cleaner.The construction of road will make communication and transportation much easier for local people.The author should have supported this reasoning with some examples.
In sum,the author's evidence lends little credible support to his claim.In order to make his argument more persuasive he should provide us with statistical evidence which points out the similarity between the two sanctuaries. Had the author kept the above suggestions and points in mind, his argument would have been bolstered much better with valid facts, evidences or statistics. The argument would also be more convincing and well-reasoned.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 11 15
No. of Words: 419 350
No. of Characters: 2244 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.524 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.356 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.899 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 176 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 130 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 94 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 62 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 38.091 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 27.763 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.455 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.409 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.668 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.146 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 112, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...n the coastal wetlands of West Lansburg.The author supports his argument by taking ...
^^^
Line 1, column 245, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: He
...oundhogs were once numbered in millions.He reinforces his claim by suggesting that...
^^
Line 1, column 391, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Thus,
...once the sanctuary status was repealed. Thus in order to preserve West Lansburgs san...
^^^^
Line 3, column 189, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...aused a decline in sea otter population.However the author misses the fact that these t...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 189, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: However,
...aused a decline in sea otter population.However the author misses the fact that these t...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 306, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...he same conditions like the area of land , the size , otter population and steps t...
^^
Line 3, column 317, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...ditions like the area of land , the size , otter population and steps taken to pre...
^^
Line 3, column 379, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Moreover
...d steps taken to preserve the sanctuary.Moreover the author should have mentioned some s...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 379, Rule ID: SENT_START_CONJUNCTIVE_LINKING_ADVERB_COMMA[1]
Message: Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Suggestion: Moreover,
...d steps taken to preserve the sanctuary.Moreover the author should have mentioned some s...
^^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 512, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[1]
Message: “Since” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...similarity between the two sanctuaries. Since the author makes an analogy between two...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 681, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Don't put a space before the full stop
Suggestion: .
...not constructing roads becomes very weak . Secondly,the author cites the popula...
^^
Line 5, column 9, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...ng roads becomes very weak . Secondly,the author cites the population of groundho...
^^^^
Line 5, column 188, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...decrease in tufted groundhog population.The author is forgetting that the decrease ...
^^^
Line 5, column 341, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...improper environmental conditions, death ,hunting, sudden climate change.The devel...
^^
Line 5, column 374, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
..., death ,hunting, sudden climate change.The development of roads is not a factor wh...
^^^
Line 8, column 14, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'regions'' or 'region's'?
Suggestion: regions'; region's
...ve the author point. Finally, the regions biodiversity and healthy environment ar...
^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 122, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: However
...ch author makes to support his argument.However,the regions biodiversity and healthy en...
^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 129, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...or makes to support his argument.However,the regions biodiversity and healthy enviro...
^^^^
Line 8, column 134, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'regions'' or 'region's'?
Suggestion: regions'; region's
...kes to support his argument.However,the regions biodiversity and healthy environment ca...
^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 226, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...maintained by reducing deforestation and increasing greenary.This would make the ...
^^
Line 8, column 248, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: This
... deforestation and increasing greenary.This would make the wildlife flourish even m...
^^^^
Line 8, column 333, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...re than before and make the air cleaner.The construction of road will make communic...
^^^
Line 8, column 430, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: The
...sportation much easier for local people.The author should have supported this reaso...
^^^
Line 11, column 7, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma
Suggestion: , the
...easoning with some examples. In sum,the authors evidence lends little credible ...
^^^^
Line 11, column 72, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...ds little credible support to his claim.In order to make his argument more persuas...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, finally, first, firstly, however, if, moreover, second, secondly, so, thus, well, kind of
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 12.0 12.9520958084 93% => OK
Conjunction : 10.0 11.1786427146 89% => OK
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 21.0 28.8173652695 73% => OK
Preposition: 54.0 55.5748502994 97% => OK
Nominalization: 27.0 16.3942115768 165% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2298.0 2260.96107784 102% => OK
No of words: 404.0 441.139720559 92% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 5.68811881188 5.12650576532 111% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.48327461151 4.56307096286 98% => OK
Word Length SD: 3.25867447989 2.78398813304 117% => OK
Unique words: 215.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.532178217822 0.468620217663 114% => OK
syllable_count: 693.0 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 15.0 8.76447105788 171% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 10.0 19.7664670659 51% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 40.0 22.8473053892 175% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively long.
Sentence length SD: 168.614471502 57.8364921388 292% => The lengths of sentences changed so frequently.
Chars per sentence: 229.8 119.503703932 192% => OK
Words per sentence: 40.4 23.324526521 173% => OK
Discourse Markers: 9.5 5.70786347227 166% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 25.0 5.25449101796 476% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 4.0 8.20758483034 49% => More positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.13827699282 0.218282227539 63% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0653652882881 0.0743258471296 88% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0860520504143 0.0701772020484 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0838516585391 0.128457276422 65% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0963127240991 0.0628817314937 153% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 25.6 14.3799401198 178% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 22.42 48.3550499002 46% => Flesch_reading_ease is low.
smog_index: 13.0 7.1628742515 181% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 20.1 12.197005988 165% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 16.61 12.5979740519 132% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 9.76 8.32208582834 117% => OK
difficult_words: 106.0 98.500998004 108% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 13.5 12.3882235529 109% => OK
gunning_fog: 18.0 11.1389221557 162% => OK
text_standard: 13.0 11.9071856287 109% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.