While Galore Stores ought to do some changes in order to reduce the decline in profit, this author's argument does not make much cogent case for other stores on the basis of provided information. It is easy to understand why Galore Stores want to restrain their decline profits, but this argument is rife with holes and assumptions, and thus, not strong enough to lead to implement such changes in other stores.
Citing authors report, the author reports recently declining profits in stores. While this may be true but the scope and validity of the statement are obscure. For example, the decline in profit may be in some thousands or it may be in millions and time for recent is not justified. Author has claimed that Store's operating expenses should be reduced, But the scope of the expenses is not clearly stated. The claim of being famous is also not justifiable based on the given scope of the argument. The claim of being preeminent is made by the author, and any affirmative evidence is not provided. Unless the state of being famous is fully explored, valid and reliable, it cannot be used for bolstering the authors' argument.
Additionally, The author implies that last month reducing expenses significantly by the closing store before 3 important working hours. The relation between the decrease in working hours in order to reduce expenses and profits is not effectively made. Reducing hours may not lead to an increase in profits or do not overcome the problem of declining profits. It seems first, Plausible that reducing expense cost may achieve desirable results, But it also impairs the selling. For instance, Time in between 6 to 9 is peak hours for people to buy from the stores. By closing the store in the peak hours may jeopardize the situation by reducing sell. For strengthening the argument the author must provide some justification for that hours during which store was closed.
And Finally, Authors argument, Reducing the stock of old movies may befit for producing revenue is seriously undermines the actual argument of reversing the decline in profits. As there are people who enjoy watching old movies(here old movies refers to released before 5 years) and not having stock of that movies means definitely reduce in sell. There are significant number of stock of old movies and eliminating the stocks means exactly what to do with that stock is the question which should be handled with prudent manner. Author does not have shown any effective strategy to reduce the decline in profit rather, By eliminating stocks sells may be reduced.
A good, prudent and painstaking strategy should be adopted to deal in a such a worse situation.To increase the profit and deal with such a situation one should be incisive to make sage decisions. But presented authors decisions are seriously flawed and should be reconsidered before implementing any of them.
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Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK. need to argue this:
Since we are famous for our special bargains, raising our rental prices is not a viable way to improve profits.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- need to argue together with argument 2. for argument 3, we need to argue against the conclusion:
Therefore, in order to increase profits without jeopardizing our reputation for offering great movies at low prices, we recommend implementing similar changes in our other nine Movies Galore stores.
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Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 482 350
No. of Characters: 2351 1500
No. of Different Words: 223 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.686 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.878 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.538 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 185 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 127 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 43 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 21.909 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.012 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.591 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.295 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.527 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.113 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 706, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
...e, it cannot be used for bolstering the authors argument. Additionally, The author ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 306, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'movies'' or 'movie's'?
Suggestion: movies'; movie's
...re 5 years and not having stock of that movies means definitely reduce in sell. There ...
^^^^^^
Line 7, column 418, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[1]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'stocks'' or 'stock's'?
Suggestion: stocks'; stock's
...stock of old movies and eliminating the stocks means exactly what to do with that stoc...
^^^^^^
Line 9, column 96, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...ted to deal in a such a worse situation.To increase the profit and deal with such ...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, if, may, so, then, thus, while, for example, for instance
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 16.0 12.9520958084 124% => OK
Conjunction : 20.0 11.1786427146 179% => OK
Relative clauses : 9.0 13.6137724551 66% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 16.0 28.8173652695 56% => OK
Preposition: 64.0 55.5748502994 115% => OK
Nominalization: 18.0 16.3942115768 110% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2406.0 2260.96107784 106% => OK
No of words: 481.0 441.139720559 109% => OK
Chars per words: 5.00207900208 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.68313059816 4.56307096286 103% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.62347162695 2.78398813304 94% => OK
Unique words: 220.0 204.123752495 108% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.45738045738 0.468620217663 98% => OK
syllable_count: 752.4 705.55239521 107% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 4.0 2.70958083832 148% => OK
Conjunction: 7.0 1.67365269461 418% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 21.0 22.8473053892 92% => OK
Sentence length SD: 39.8631180644 57.8364921388 69% => OK
Chars per sentence: 109.363636364 119.503703932 92% => OK
Words per sentence: 21.8636363636 23.324526521 94% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.81818181818 5.70786347227 67% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 4.0 5.25449101796 76% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 6.0 6.88822355289 87% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 3.0 4.67664670659 64% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.140160399233 0.218282227539 64% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0507624756226 0.0743258471296 68% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0353279259281 0.0701772020484 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0794138626727 0.128457276422 62% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0413074226447 0.0628817314937 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 13.1 14.3799401198 91% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 50.16 48.3550499002 104% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.72 12.5979740519 93% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.58 8.32208582834 103% => OK
difficult_words: 119.0 98.500998004 121% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 10.5 12.3882235529 85% => OK
gunning_fog: 10.4 11.1389221557 93% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.