Benton City residents have adopted healthier lifestyles. A recent survey of city residents shows that the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. During those ten years, local sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol, have increased fourfold, while sales of sulia, a food rarely eaten by the healthiest residents, have declined dramatically. Because of these positive changes in the eating habits of Benton City residents, we predict that the obesity rate in the city will soon be well below the national average.
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the prediction and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the prediction.
The argument mentions that local people in Benton City have changed their lifestyles into a better diet since their diets are closer to the government recommendations than before. Additionally, there are more food products contained kiran while a steep decrease sale of sulia. The author concludes that the obesity rate in Benton City would be lower than the national average. However, there are some questions rendering the argument a little unconvincing.
First of all, the argument cites that the current diet habits are more similar to the government advices than ten years ago. Nevertheless, they are compared to different standards, the government advices of now and ten years ago. The ten years ago suggestion might be not as accurate as now. Therefore, close to ten years ago suggestion or not is not comparable to nowadays condition since they are compared to distinct standards. In other words, this assumption might not be valid. The author should compare them to the same recommendation.
Moreover, the writer contends that there are more kiran-contained productions and lesser sales in sulia which is not the favorite food of the healthiest residents. Nonetheless, the argument brings the production and sales information, but not absorption of the residents. There is no obvious causation between sales and absorption. Probably, both kiran food and sulia are sold to other cities. Then, no matter their production and sales are large or small, it would not affect the citizens’ absorption as well as their bodies. In this way, the citizens might still digest the regular food as before and their obesity rate would also stay the same as before.
Finally, the argument points out that the Benton City inhabitants have applied a diet which is healthier than before, so they will have lower th obesity rate. Notwithstanding, there are many ways could affect human beings’ health, such as exercise, living environment, and medical knowledge. Even if they really adopt a healthier diet, they might still suffer from obesity for low exercise rate, food pollution, and wrong obesity knowledge. The altogether lifestyle includes many factors, and diet is one of them. Hence, only one factor cannot predict their future health condition so well.
To sum up, an issue about the connection between recommendation of ten years ago and now is vexing. Furthermore, the relation between sales and real absorption amount is also ambiguous. Thirdly, all other factors which would influence lifestyles are not provided. To bolster the argument, the writer might need to offer more information to answer the above questions.
- Benton City residents have adopted healthier lifestyles. A recent survey of city residents shows that the eating habits of city residents conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. During those ten years, l
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argument 1 -- OK
argument 2 -- what do you mean 'absorption'? Do you mean 'adoption of healthier lifestyles'? There is no causation between 'people eat something more or less' to 'the adoption of healthier lifestyles'.
argument 3 -- OK
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Attribute Value Ideal
Score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 25 15
No. of Words: 419 350
No. of Characters: 2141 1500
No. of Different Words: 201 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.524 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.11 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.67 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 145 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 81 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 55 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.76 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.928 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.68 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.268 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.488 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.08 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5