In this statement the author predicts that the Whirlwind video games will get more sale dramatically in the next dew month. To support the conclusion the author cites a survey which showed the interests of video-game players. Because the survey formed the stategy presently, the author makes this conclusion while it is problematic.There are some loopholes and let's evaluate them carefully.
To begin with, the suvery is not compelling by the unknown scale which could make wrong detemination. Because the author does not tell us how many people involved in this survey, we can not make the conclusion of what the players' interests. Maybe there are only a few people took the survey which reprsents the minorities' favor, it would be unpredictable if the company ignore the major trend of this area in that it will cost not huge lost. What's more, given the survey shows that players feel like the games with lifelike graphics which require most up-to-date computers, whether the players will update the computers of their own is in question.Because compared with games ,the PCs are much more expensive than gaming discs. If the company introduce many games with high computer demands, they would not be welcomed by players.
In addtion, the author tells us that the company made extensive advertising campaign directed at people ten to twenty-years old, which is the age-group most likely to play video games. First of all, whether the game popular among players does not depend on the advertisements in most case, unlike clothes or other merchandizes, if the game is playable , more and more people will join it thus it is popluar. A video-game company should concerntrate on the games instead of advertising which bring less profits. Seconldy, the age-group that most people likely to play games is not supported by the author because therer is no convincing evidence to prove this point. Maybe the people under 10 or over 25 still like games, maybe the kind of games should be classified.
Finally, the author seems to be too hasty to predict the profits in coming months.In a few months the sales of the companies' dramastical increasing is in question. Besides the unconvincing evidence we discussed above, the time of few month is to short to witness a dramastical increasing in sales as the result would not be observed by us immediately. There is a process of market to accept the games which cost times.
In conclusion, the conclusion is not well supported by the evidence.To support the statement, the author should make an exhautive survey of video-game players and the games introduced by the company. On the other hand, the company should focus on the games rahter than advertisements.
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Essay evaluation report
Sentence: Because the survey formed the stategy presently, the author makes this conclusion while it is problematic.There are some loopholes and let's evaluate them carefully.
Error: stategy Suggestion: stately
Sentence: To begin with, the suvery is not compelling by the unknown scale which could make wrong detemination.
Error: suvery Suggestion: super
Error: detemination Suggestion: determination
Sentence: Maybe there are only a few people took the survey which reprsents the minorities' favor, it would be unpredictable if the company ignore the major trend of this area in that it will cost not huge lost.
Error: reprsents Suggestion: represents
Sentence: In addtion, the author tells us that the company made extensive advertising campaign directed at people ten to twenty-years old, which is the age-group most likely to play video games.
Error: twenty-years Suggestion: twenty years
Error: age-group Suggestion: age group
Error: addtion Suggestion: addition
Sentence: First of all, whether the game popular among players does not depend on the advertisements in most case, unlike clothes or other merchandizes, if the game is playable , more and more people will join it thus it is popluar.
Error: merchandizes Suggestion: mechanizes
Error: popluar Suggestion: popular
Sentence: A video-game company should concerntrate on the games instead of advertising which bring less profits.
Error: concerntrate Suggestion: concentrate
Error: video-game Suggestion: video game
Sentence: Seconldy, the age-group that most people likely to play games is not supported by the author because therer is no convincing evidence to prove this point.
Error: therer Suggestion: No alternate word
Error: age-group Suggestion: age group
Sentence: Finally, the author seems to be too hasty to predict the profits in coming months.In a few months the sales of the companies' dramastical increasing is in question.
Error: dramastical Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: Besides the unconvincing evidence we discussed above, the time of few month is to short to witness a dramastical increasing in sales as the result would not be observed by us immediately.
Error: dramastical Suggestion: No alternate word
Sentence: In conclusion, the conclusion is not well supported by the evidence.To support the statement, the author should make an exhautive survey of video-game players and the games introduced by the company.
Error: video-game Suggestion: video game
Error: exhautive Suggestion: exhaustive
Sentence: On the other hand, the company should focus on the games rahter than advertisements.
Error: rahter Suggestion: rather
----------------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 16 2
No. of Sentences: 18 15
No. of Words: 453 350
No. of Characters: 2202 1500
No. of Different Words: 212 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.613 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.861 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.594 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 150 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 107 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 70 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 52 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 25.167 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 9.269 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.556 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.349 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.57 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.123 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 206, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s a survey which showed the interests of video-game players. Because the survey f...
^^
Line 1, column 334, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: There
...this conclusion while it is problematic.There are some loopholes and lets evaluate th...
^^^^^
Line 1, column 363, Rule ID: LETS_LET[1]
Message: Did you mean 'Let's'?
Suggestion: Let's
...roblematic.There are some loopholes and lets evaluate them carefully. To begin wi...
^^^^
Line 3, column 443, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: What's
...rea in that it will cost not huge lost. Whats more, given the survey shows that playe...
^^^^^
Line 3, column 649, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: Because
...e computers of their own is in question.Because compared with games ,the PCs are much m...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 676, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
... in question.Because compared with games ,the PCs are much more expensive than gam...
^^
Line 5, column 352, Rule ID: COMMA_PARENTHESIS_WHITESPACE
Message: Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
Suggestion: ,
...er merchandizes, if the game is playable , more and more people will join it thus ...
^^
Line 5, column 498, Rule ID: FEWER_LESS[2]
Message: Did you mean 'fewer'? The noun profits is countable.
Suggestion: fewer
...ames instead of advertising which bring less profits. Seconldy, the age-group that m...
^^^^
Line 8, column 83, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: In
...to predict the profits in coming months.In a few months the sales of the companies...
^^
Line 8, column 231, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun month seems to be countable; consider using: 'few months'.
Suggestion: few months
...vidence we discussed above, the time of few month is to short to witness a dramastical in...
^^^^^^^^^
Line 8, column 244, Rule ID: TO_TOO[1]
Message: Did you mean 'too'?
Suggestion: too
...scussed above, the time of few month is to short to witness a dramastical increasi...
^^
Line 10, column 69, Rule ID: SENTENCE_WHITESPACE
Message: Add a space between sentences
Suggestion: To
...n is not well supported by the evidence.To support the statement, the author shoul...
^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
besides, finally, first, if, may, so, still, thus, well, while, in conclusion, kind of, first of all, to begin with, on the other hand
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 20.0 19.6327345309 102% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 13.0 12.9520958084 100% => OK
Conjunction : 5.0 11.1786427146 45% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 12.0 13.6137724551 88% => OK
Pronoun: 23.0 28.8173652695 80% => OK
Preposition: 59.0 55.5748502994 106% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2263.0 2260.96107784 100% => OK
No of words: 449.0 441.139720559 102% => OK
Chars per words: 5.04008908686 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.60321845022 4.56307096286 101% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.78603306637 2.78398813304 100% => OK
Unique words: 223.0 204.123752495 109% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.496659242762 0.468620217663 106% => OK
syllable_count: 693.0 705.55239521 98% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 3.0 4.96107784431 60% => OK
Article: 11.0 8.76447105788 126% => OK
Subordination: 5.0 2.70958083832 185% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 9.0 4.22255489022 213% => Less preposition wanted as sentence beginnings.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 18.0 19.7664670659 91% => OK
Sentence length: 24.0 22.8473053892 105% => OK
Sentence length SD: 55.4186089885 57.8364921388 96% => OK
Chars per sentence: 125.722222222 119.503703932 105% => OK
Words per sentence: 24.9444444444 23.324526521 107% => OK
Discourse Markers: 7.44444444444 5.70786347227 130% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 12.0 5.25449101796 228% => Less language errors wanted.
Sentences with positive sentiment : 13.0 8.20758483034 158% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 2.0 4.67664670659 43% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.257979164835 0.218282227539 118% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0913059258978 0.0743258471296 123% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0536200866729 0.0701772020484 76% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.158224731286 0.128457276422 123% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0413438436656 0.0628817314937 66% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 14.8 14.3799401198 103% => OK
flesch_reading_ease: 55.58 48.3550499002 115% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 12.197005988 94% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 12.25 12.5979740519 97% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 8.41 8.32208582834 101% => OK
difficult_words: 102.0 98.500998004 104% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 11.6 11.1389221557 104% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 66.67 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 4.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.