The following appeared in a health magazine.
"The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyles. Their responses to a recent survey show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations than they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat."
Write a response in which you discuss what specific evidence is needed to evaluate the argument and explain how the evidence would weaken or strengthen the argument.
The author states that the people in Forsythe live more healthy lives than before. However, in order to substantiate his claim, he needs to provide more evidence.
Firstly, the author mentions a survey that says the citizens conform more closely to the recommendations of the government than they used to. Yet, there is no evidence that the survey is worth trusting. People tend to express themselves as better ones. For example, people would like to exaggerate that they earn more money than they really do. Even if the people do tell the truth to the researchers, the author doesn't provide any information about how the survey was conducted. For example, the survey could have randomly asked five people on the street and made the conclusions. Therefore, the author should show more details of how the data was collected.
Secondly, it is mentioned in the magazine that there is a significant increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a salutary substance. However, the author doesn't provide any information of the reason that results in such an increase. It is possible that although sales does increase, the average amount of kiran that a person in Forsythe consumes doesn't change a lot. For example, the increase is because of a huge growth in the population in this cities. Therefore, the author should show the growth rate of Forsythe to evaluate whether people really consume more kiran than before.
Also, it is stated that the trend can also be shown in a decrease in sales of sulia which is not common in the most healthy citizens' diet. Nevertheless, there isn't any evidence showing that the less one takes in sulia, the more healthy a person would be. There could be many reasons for those health people to not consume sulia. For example, it is possible that sulia is a kind of substance that can help people reduce their blood pressure. Since those healthy people don't have to deal with such issues, they don't have to consume it. In contrast to the author's argument, the decrease in the sales of it could mean that more people start to ignore the importance of their health.
The author states that the citizens in Forsythe adopted more healthful lifestyles than before. However, he should show more evidence to justify his claim.
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Comments
e-rater score report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.5 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 7 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 4 2
No. of Sentences: 22 15
No. of Words: 390 350
No. of Characters: 1825 1500
No. of Different Words: 174 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.444 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.679 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.411 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 134 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 86 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 56 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 23 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.727 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.361 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.682 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.322 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.515 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.075 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 3, column 414, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...he truth to the researchers, the author doesnt provide any information about how the s...
^^^^^^
Line 3, column 661, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... details of how the data was collected. Secondly, it is mentioned in the magazin...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 166, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...salutary substance. However, the author doesnt provide any information of the reason t...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 358, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: doesn't
...iran that a person in Forsythe consumes doesnt change a lot. For example, the increase...
^^^^^^
Line 5, column 454, Rule ID: THIS_NNS[1]
Message: Did you mean 'these'?
Suggestion: these
...e of a huge growth in the population in this cities. Therefore, the author should sh...
^^^^
Line 7, column 160, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: isn't
...lthy citizens diet. Nevertheless, there isnt any evidence showing that the less one ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 469, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...od pressure. Since those healthy people dont have to deal with such issues, they don...
^^^^
Line 7, column 510, Rule ID: EN_CONTRACTION_SPELLING
Message: Possible spelling mistake found
Suggestion: don't
...ont have to deal with such issues, they dont have to consume it. In contrast to the ...
^^^^
Line 7, column 554, Rule ID: POSSESIVE_APOSTROPHE[2]
Message: Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean 'authors'' or 'author's'?
Suggestion: authors'; author's
... have to consume it. In contrast to the authors argument, the decrease in the sales of ...
^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 680, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... ignore the importance of their health. The author states that the citizens in F...
^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, first, firstly, however, if, nevertheless, really, second, secondly, so, therefore, for example, in contrast, kind of, in contrast to
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 15.0 19.6327345309 76% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 10.0 12.9520958084 77% => OK
Conjunction : 1.0 11.1786427146 9% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 15.0 13.6137724551 110% => OK
Pronoun: 34.0 28.8173652695 118% => OK
Preposition: 48.0 55.5748502994 86% => OK
Nominalization: 12.0 16.3942115768 73% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1883.0 2260.96107784 83% => OK
No of words: 384.0 441.139720559 87% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.90364583333 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.4267276788 4.56307096286 97% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.47996392774 2.78398813304 89% => OK
Unique words: 180.0 204.123752495 88% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.46875 0.468620217663 100% => OK
syllable_count: 592.2 705.55239521 84% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.5 1.59920159681 94% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 7.0 4.96107784431 141% => OK
Article: 13.0 8.76447105788 148% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 0.0 1.67365269461 0% => OK
Preposition: 3.0 4.22255489022 71% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 22.0 19.7664670659 111% => OK
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 29.0288044467 57.8364921388 50% => The essay contains lots of sentences with the similar length. More sentence varieties wanted.
Chars per sentence: 85.5909090909 119.503703932 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.4545454545 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 6.31818181818 5.70786347227 111% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 1.0 6.88822355289 15% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 7.0 4.67664670659 150% => OK
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.28606649588 0.218282227539 131% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0856631185769 0.0743258471296 115% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0886935828499 0.0701772020484 126% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.170346315345 0.128457276422 133% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0776170476668 0.0628817314937 123% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.4 14.3799401198 72% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 62.68 48.3550499002 130% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 8.7 12.197005988 71% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 10.84 12.5979740519 86% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.73 8.32208582834 93% => OK
difficult_words: 79.0 98.500998004 80% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 6.5 12.3882235529 52% => Linsear_write_formula is low.
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.