The following appeared in health magazine.
“The citizens of Forsythe have adopted more healthful lifestyle. Their responses to a recent survey Show that in their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations then they did ten years ago. Furthermore, there has been a fourfold increase in sales of food products containing kiran, a substance that a scientific study has shown reduces cholesterol. This trend is also evident in reduced sales of sulia, a food that few of the most healthy citizens regularly eat.”
The above article from health magazine is flawed for several unwarranted reasons. Basically, health magazine try to conclude that health of Forsythe citizen are because of their similar nutritional diet as government’s diet. And their considerable use of food that contain kiran that is useful for reducing cholesterol. However, there are several assumption made by the writer of health magazine writer that need to be address first.
First, health magazine printed in article that Forsythe people's eating habit are close enough to government’s nutritional diet. From that writer concluded that because of their diet they are living healthy lifestyle. But, it may be possible that Forsythe citizens would regularly doing some physical activities like yoga, sports, meditation. Or they may have good weather condition in their habitat. Writer should have mentioned these reasons for healthy lifestyle of Forsythe people.
Furthermore, according to survey there has been astonishing growth in sales of food product containing so-called substance kiran. Scientific study of kiran shows that it is useful for reducing cholesterol. Food containing kiran may helpful for people who is victim of cholesterol disease. But there is no proof given here that kiran containing food is also useful for other disease as well. By the phenomenal increase in kiran containing food writer assumed and generalized the myth that everyone in the Forsythe region, uses kiran containing food and that is why they are living healthy life. Moreover, there is no doubt about scientific fact that it is helpful for cholesterol sufferer. But it may be possible that so-called element kiran have some side effects. In addition, there could be other reasons for dramatic sales growth. For instance, food may cheaper and healthy for cholesterol patient. In this case they would certainly prefer this kind of food.
Finally, as mentioned in article, there has been huge reduction in sales of food containing sulia. Sulia food was preferred in a high ration some time ago by the healthiest people of Forsythe region. Writer made assumption that because of increase sales of kiran containing food, people are not using sulia and that is why sales of sulia has been deteriorated. But it may be possible that sulia food is more expansive than other health related food. In addition to sulia food might be seasonal food that may not available all the time in year. And sulia food may not suitable for every people's body mechanism. Instead of giving above reasons for healthy lifestyle of Forsythe citizens, writer should have mentioned other factor as well like physical activity that Forsythe people dose regularly or they may have clean, clear and healthy atmosphere for live. So, these possibilities have to describe before making any kind of conclusion.
In the end, for healthy lifestyle of Forsythe people, there could be enormous reasons. Here, writer made several unwarranted assumption and he fails to make convincing argument for health lifestyle of Forsythe people. Hence, information that is given by health magazine is not adequate to conclude cogent conclusion.
| Post date | Users | Rates | Link to Content |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2018-02-07 | beginnerjp | 77 | view |
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
argument 1 -- not OK. need to argue:
their eating habits they conform more closely to government nutritional recommendations then they did ten years ago.
//maybe the standard is different to ten years ago.
argument 2 -- OK
argument 3 -- OK
----------------
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 30 15
No. of Words: 498 350
No. of Characters: 2588 1500
No. of Different Words: 207 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.724 4.7
Average Word Length: 5.197 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.568 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 194 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 147 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 105 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 61 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 16.6 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 6.312 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.633 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.308 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.478 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.096 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 5 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 2, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
The above article from health magazine i...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 356, Rule ID: MANY_NN[1]
Message: Possible agreement error. The noun assumption seems to be countable; consider using: 'several assumptions'.
Suggestion: several assumptions
...educing cholesterol. However, there are several assumption made by the writer of health magazine w...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 2, column 364, Rule ID: THERE_RE_MANY[3]
Message: Possible agreement error. Did you mean 'assumptions'?
Suggestion: assumptions
...cholesterol. However, there are several assumption made by the writer of health magazine w...
^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...riter that need to be address first. First, health magazine printed in articl...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 4, column 299, Rule ID: DID_BASEFORM[1]
Message: The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: 'do'
Suggestion: do
... that Forsythe citizens would regularly doing some physical activities like yoga, spo...
^^^^^
Line 5, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
... healthy lifestyle of Forsythe people. Furthermore, according to s...
^^^
Line 6, column 755, Rule ID: HE_VERB_AGR[8]
Message: The proper name in singular (kiran) must be used with a third-person verb: 'has'.
Suggestion: has
...e possible that so-called element kiran have some side effects. In addition, there c...
^^^^
Line 6, column 976, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...uld certainly prefer this kind of food. Finally, as mentioned in a...
^^^^^^
Line 8, column 751, Rule ID: AS_ADJ_AS[1]
Message: Comparison is written "as well 'as'".
Suggestion: as
...uld have mentioned other factor as well like physical activity that Forsythe people ...
^^^^
Line 10, column 1, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...fore making any kind of conclusion. In the end, for healthy lifestyle of For...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, finally, first, furthermore, hence, however, if, may, moreover, so, well, for instance, in addition, kind of, no doubt
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 30.0 19.6327345309 153% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 17.0 12.9520958084 131% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 21.0 13.6137724551 154% => OK
Pronoun: 39.0 28.8173652695 135% => Less pronouns wanted
Preposition: 52.0 55.5748502994 94% => OK
Nominalization: 14.0 16.3942115768 85% => OK
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2669.0 2260.96107784 118% => OK
No of words: 498.0 441.139720559 113% => OK
Chars per words: 5.359437751 5.12650576532 105% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.72397222731 4.56307096286 104% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.70114657198 2.78398813304 97% => OK
Unique words: 214.0 204.123752495 105% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.429718875502 0.468620217663 92% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 843.3 705.55239521 120% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.59920159681 106% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 2.0 4.96107784431 40% => OK
Article: 1.0 8.76447105788 11% => OK
Subordination: 1.0 2.70958083832 37% => OK
Conjunction: 6.0 1.67365269461 358% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 8.0 4.22255489022 189% => OK
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 30.0 19.7664670659 152% => OK
Sentence length: 16.0 22.8473053892 70% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 41.2505218822 57.8364921388 71% => OK
Chars per sentence: 88.9666666667 119.503703932 74% => OK
Words per sentence: 16.6 23.324526521 71% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.3 5.70786347227 75% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 10.0 5.25449101796 190% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 17.0 8.20758483034 207% => Less positive sentences wanted.
Sentences with negative sentiment : 3.0 6.88822355289 44% => More negative sentences wanted.
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.17017258742 0.218282227539 78% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0541752940261 0.0743258471296 73% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0664070508211 0.0701772020484 95% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.130316421779 0.128457276422 101% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0891855424169 0.0628817314937 142% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 12.1 14.3799401198 84% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 46.78 48.3550499002 97% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.7 12.197005988 88% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 13.51 12.5979740519 107% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.63 8.32208582834 92% => OK
difficult_words: 101.0 98.500998004 103% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 9.0 12.3882235529 73% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.4 11.1389221557 75% => OK
text_standard: 9.0 11.9071856287 76% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.