The following appeared in a health magazine published in Corpora Medical experts say that only one quarter of Corpora s citizens meet the current standards for adequate physical fitness even though twenty years ago one half of all of Corpora s citizens me

The article suggests that the lagging economy of the region is to blame moreso than increased computer use for the decline of physical fitness for the population of Corpora. The article references that the levels of physical fitness is significantly less than it was twenty years ago, and computer use has drastically increased in that timespan. Yet it discounts computer use as a prime cause for the problem in stating that in areas of high computer use, physical fitness rates are also highest in the region. Then the article goes on to make a broad and unfounded claim that due to recent declines in physical fitness products, the poor economy of the region is most likely to blame. While it is true a lagging economy will tighten personal spending, there are many ways to stay fit. One would expect to see a reduction in physical fitness amounts during times of economic turmoil, but the drastic numbers mentioned in the article seem to indicate other factors are also responsible.

The problem here is that the article fails to take into account these other factors. It doesn’t even address them. For instance, what other health issues have arisen in recent years? What about other forms of time consuming entertainment? Did television watching also rise considerably in recent years? What trends can be traced to a reduced emphasis on pysical fitness for the population? There are many factors that can affect how much people exercise. Although the economy might very well be a factor in declining physical fitness rates, is it the prime factor? The article should also take into account the neighboring areas and examine what effects the lagging economy has on measurable levels of physical activity. Did the same levels of physical fitness declines occur elsewhere in the region?

There is also another consideration to be made here. The article concludes that as the economy rebounds, fitness levels are most likely going to increase as well. Since the article fails to establish conclusively the economy is the prime culprit, there is no guarantee that fitness levels will rise. It also does not take into account the change in attitudes that might result toward exercise in the interim. In short, people can become lazy, and after all, there are many ways to stay fit other than purchasing equipment and utilizing gyms.

Third, the study states that low expenditures on fitness products and services can be attributed to the decline in the economy and once the economy is no longer in a decline, expenditures will increase. This implies that expenditures on fitness-related products will increase once the economy improves but this may not necessarily happen. Even if the economy does improve, people may find other outlets in which to spend their money. In addition, this study assumes that in order for physical fitness to be high, people need to spend money on fitness-related products and services. People can attain physical fitness without spending money on products and services. For example, running outdoors is a physical activity that does not require people to spend money. Thus, if fitness levels do not improve once the economy improves, then the conclusion of the study would be regarded as false.
Although the article may be correct in its conclusions, there is no way to know that in the scope of given information. Most likely as the economy rebounds, levels will rise, but not to the levels expected. In conclusion, there are many factors left unanswered here.

Votes
Average: 6.9 (2 votes)
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Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 60, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s that the lagging economy of the region is to blame moreso than increased comput...
^^
Line 1, column 573, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...s on to make a broad and unfounded claim that due to recent declines in physical ...
^^
Line 1, column 989, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...ate other factors are also responsible. The problem here is that the article fai...
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Line 2, column 434, Rule ID: MUCH_COUNTABLE[1]
Message: Use 'many' with countable nouns.
Suggestion: many
...re are many factors that can affect how much people exercise. Although the economy m...
^^^^
Line 2, column 802, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...declines occur elsewhere in the region? There is also another consideration to b...
^^^
Line 3, column 543, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...urchasing equipment and utilizing gyms. Third, the study states that low expendi...
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Line 4, column 892, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...f the study would be regarded as false. Although the article may be correct in i...
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Transition Words or Phrases used:
also, but, if, may, so, then, third, thus, well, while, after all, for example, for instance, in addition, in conclusion, in short, it is true

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 27.0 19.6327345309 138% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 19.0 12.9520958084 147% => OK
Conjunction : 13.0 11.1786427146 116% => OK
Relative clauses : 16.0 13.6137724551 118% => OK
Pronoun: 28.0 28.8173652695 97% => OK
Preposition: 70.0 55.5748502994 126% => OK
Nominalization: 9.0 16.3942115768 55% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.

Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 2918.0 2260.96107784 129% => OK
No of words: 579.0 441.139720559 131% => OK
Chars per words: 5.03972366149 5.12650576532 98% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.90534594407 4.56307096286 108% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.59686651851 2.78398813304 93% => OK
Unique words: 252.0 204.123752495 123% => OK
Unique words percentage: 0.435233160622 0.468620217663 93% => More unique words wanted or less content wanted.
syllable_count: 947.7 705.55239521 134% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 7.0 8.76447105788 80% => OK
Subordination: 6.0 2.70958083832 221% => Less adverbial clause wanted.
Conjunction: 5.0 1.67365269461 299% => Less conjunction wanted as sentence beginning.
Preposition: 4.0 4.22255489022 95% => OK

Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 31.0 19.7664670659 157% => OK
Sentence length: 18.0 22.8473053892 79% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 44.8126403678 57.8364921388 77% => OK
Chars per sentence: 94.1290322581 119.503703932 79% => OK
Words per sentence: 18.6774193548 23.324526521 80% => OK
Discourse Markers: 4.58064516129 5.70786347227 80% => OK
Paragraphs: 5.0 5.15768463074 97% => OK
Language errors: 7.0 5.25449101796 133% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 14.0 8.20758483034 171% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 7.0 6.88822355289 102% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 10.0 4.67664670659 214% => Less facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.122567603373 0.218282227539 56% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0353790171808 0.0743258471296 48% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0338322232496 0.0701772020484 48% => Sentences are similar to each other.
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0647959439851 0.128457276422 50% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0472185639609 0.0628817314937 75% => OK

Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 11.6 14.3799401198 81% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 53.21 48.3550499002 110% => OK
smog_index: 8.8 7.1628742515 123% => OK
flesch_kincaid_grade: 10.3 12.197005988 84% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.95 12.5979740519 95% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.88 8.32208582834 95% => OK
difficult_words: 123.0 98.500998004 125% => OK
linsear_write_formula: 14.0 12.3882235529 113% => OK
gunning_fog: 9.2 11.1389221557 83% => OK
text_standard: 12.0 11.9071856287 101% => OK
What are above readability scores?

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Rates: 58.33 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.5 Out of 6
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Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 4.0 out of 6
Category: Good Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 4 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 7 2
No. of Sentences: 31 15
No. of Words: 580 350
No. of Characters: 2852 1500
No. of Different Words: 238 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.907 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.917 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.521 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 215 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 170 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 93 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 41 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 18.71 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 7.629 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.677 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.291 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.291 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.099 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 1 5