The following appeared in a health newsletter.
"A ten-year nationwide study of the effectiveness of wearing a helmet while bicycling indicates that ten years ago, approximately 35 percent of all bicyclists reported wearing helmets, whereas today that number is nearly 80 percent. Another study, however, suggests that during the same ten-year period, the number of accidents caused by bicycling has increased 200 percent. These results demonstrate that bicyclists feel safer because they are wearing helmets, and they take more risks as a result. Thus, there is clearly a call for the government to strive to reduce the number of serious injuries from bicycle accidents by launching an education program that concentrates on the factors other than helmet use that are necessary for bicycle safety."
Write a response in which you discuss what questions would need to be answered in order to decide whether the recommendation and the argument on which it is based are reasonable. Be sure to explain how the answers to these questions would help to evaluate the recommendation.
There is an ambiguity in the argument which says that wearing a helmet has led to increase in the accidents. And failed to provide the legitimate proof for the argument made. The others reasons which are stated as the major ones for occurring of accidents even though people habituated to helmets are still anonymous raising the doubts on legitimacy of the statement.
Another claim made as people are taking more risk as they wear helmets has two faces to it. While the percentage of people wearing helmets is better than it was ten years before, it is not at it’s best even. This indicates how awareness among the people have grown about the safety measures to be taken while riding bicycles. Even though there still exists a group of people who are not well aware. Only a percentage close to 100 can save people from accidents.
The reasons for the increase in accidents is may be carelessness among the bicyclists and the one who supervises them. Bicyclist having been performing their best are forced to push their limits because of the competitiveness from other contestants. So, they are forced to take new risks so as to reach their dream. This is the main reasons for why they are being too audacious and are finally falling prey to accidents.
The government should make awareness programs about helmets as well as other aspects of safety measures because wearing a helmet only would not give complete immunity from accidents. The true immunity come with following the legal measures. The government alone cannot do much without the active involvement of the public. So, each individual should be as careful as a lion before hunt starts.
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Comments
Essay evaluation report
Attribute Value Ideal
Final score: 3.0 out of 6
Category: Satisfactory Excellent
No. of Grammatical Errors: 0 2
No. of Spelling Errors: 0 2
No. of Sentences: 16 15
No. of Words: 281 350
No. of Characters: 1345 1500
No. of Different Words: 160 200
Fourth Root of Number of Words: 4.094 4.7
Average Word Length: 4.786 4.6
Word Length SD: 2.478 2.4
No. of Words greater than 5 chars: 95 100
No. of Words greater than 6 chars: 63 80
No. of Words greater than 7 chars: 43 40
No. of Words greater than 8 chars: 31 20
Use of Passive Voice (%): 0 0
Avg. Sentence Length: 17.562 21.0
Sentence Length SD: 5.884 7.5
Use of Discourse Markers (%): 0.562 0.12
Sentence-Text Coherence: 0.299 0.35
Sentence-Para Coherence: 0.53 0.50
Sentence-Sentence Coherence: 0.069 0.07
Number of Paragraphs: 4 5
Grammar and spelling errors:
Line 1, column 187, Rule ID: AGREEMENT_SENT_START[1]
Message: You should probably use 'reason'.
Suggestion: reason
...proof for the argument made. The others reasons which are stated as the major ones for ...
^^^^^^^
Line 3, column 332, Rule ID: SENTENCE_FRAGMENT[2]
Message: “Even though” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
...ures to be taken while riding bicycles. Even though there still exists a group of people wh...
^^^^^^^^^^^
Line 5, column 289, Rule ID: SO_AS_TO[1]
Message: Use simply 'to'
Suggestion: to
.... So, they are forced to take new risks so as to reach their dream. This is the main rea...
^^^^^^^^
Line 7, column 201, Rule ID: WHITESPACE_RULE
Message: Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
Suggestion:
...munity from accidents. The true immunity come with following the legal measures. ...
^^
Line 7, column 243, Rule ID: ENGLISH_WORD_REPEAT_BEGINNING_RULE
Message: Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Reword the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
...come with following the legal measures. The government alone cannot do much without...
^^^
Transition Words or Phrases used:
finally, may, so, still, well, while, as to, as well as
Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments
Performance on Part of Speech:
To be verbs : 19.0 19.6327345309 97% => OK
Auxiliary verbs: 6.0 12.9520958084 46% => OK
Conjunction : 3.0 11.1786427146 27% => More conjunction wanted.
Relative clauses : 5.0 13.6137724551 37% => More relative clauses wanted.
Pronoun: 14.0 28.8173652695 49% => OK
Preposition: 33.0 55.5748502994 59% => More preposition wanted.
Nominalization: 6.0 16.3942115768 37% => More nominalizations (nouns with a suffix like: tion ment ence ance) wanted.
Performance on vocabulary words:
No of characters: 1385.0 2260.96107784 61% => OK
No of words: 281.0 441.139720559 64% => More content wanted.
Chars per words: 4.92882562278 5.12650576532 96% => OK
Fourth root words length: 4.09427095027 4.56307096286 90% => OK
Word Length SD: 2.54034204856 2.78398813304 91% => OK
Unique words: 160.0 204.123752495 78% => More unique words wanted.
Unique words percentage: 0.569395017794 0.468620217663 122% => OK
syllable_count: 439.2 705.55239521 62% => OK
avg_syllables_per_word: 1.6 1.59920159681 100% => OK
A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by:
Pronoun: 4.0 4.96107784431 81% => OK
Article: 5.0 8.76447105788 57% => OK
Subordination: 2.0 2.70958083832 74% => OK
Conjunction: 1.0 1.67365269461 60% => OK
Preposition: 0.0 4.22255489022 0% => More preposition wanted as sentence beginning.
Performance on sentences:
How many sentences: 16.0 19.7664670659 81% => Need more sentences. Double check the format of sentences, make sure there is a space between two sentences, or have enough periods. And also check the lengths of sentences, maybe they are too long.
Sentence length: 17.0 22.8473053892 74% => The Avg. Sentence Length is relatively short.
Sentence length SD: 39.4401742358 57.8364921388 68% => OK
Chars per sentence: 86.5625 119.503703932 72% => OK
Words per sentence: 17.5625 23.324526521 75% => OK
Discourse Markers: 3.4375 5.70786347227 60% => OK
Paragraphs: 4.0 5.15768463074 78% => More paragraphs wanted.
Language errors: 5.0 5.25449101796 95% => OK
Sentences with positive sentiment : 6.0 8.20758483034 73% => OK
Sentences with negative sentiment : 10.0 6.88822355289 145% => OK
Sentences with neutral sentiment: 0.0 4.67664670659 0% => More facts, knowledge or examples wanted.
What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?
Coherence and Cohesion:
Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.12408842934 0.218282227539 57% => OK
Sentence topic coherence: 0.0382183073679 0.0743258471296 51% => OK
Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0558504902748 0.0701772020484 80% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence: 0.0693727033874 0.128457276422 54% => OK
Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0429983867012 0.0628817314937 68% => OK
Essay readability:
automated_readability_index: 10.6 14.3799401198 74% => Automated_readability_index is low.
flesch_reading_ease: 54.22 48.3550499002 112% => OK
smog_index: 3.1 7.1628742515 43% => Smog_index is low.
flesch_kincaid_grade: 9.9 12.197005988 81% => OK
coleman_liau_index: 11.02 12.5979740519 87% => OK
dale_chall_readability_score: 7.57 8.32208582834 91% => OK
difficult_words: 55.0 98.500998004 56% => More difficult words wanted.
linsear_write_formula: 11.0 12.3882235529 89% => OK
gunning_fog: 8.8 11.1389221557 79% => OK
text_standard: 11.0 11.9071856287 92% => OK
What are above readability scores?
---------------------
Rates: 50.0 out of 100
Scores by essay e-grader: 3.0 Out of 6
---------------------
Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.